What If Facebook Were a Real Place? | The Daily Show

What If Facebook Were a Real Place? | The Daily Show

Hey, want to see a pic
of my kid? Nope. I’m heading out. Don’t want to stay
for another drink? Sorry, but this place
kind of blows. I’ve procrastinated long enough. I got to get back to work. Hey, check it. Before you go, this guy
says Bernie would have won. Seriously? All right. Here’s what I hate
about Bernie Bros. -You want another drink?
-Yeah, whatever. Bernie is a socialist. -The idea that a rust belt voter
would ever… -MAN: Hey! What do you know
about rust belt voters? We’re the real America. Bartender,
another pitcher, please. We’re gonna be here a while. (cash register chimes) Look, climate change is real.
Did you even see Leonardo DiCaprio’s
documentary series? Want to see a pic of my kid? I’m tired of Hollywood elites
telling us what to do. They should stick to acting. They should stick
to not sexually harassing. #MeToo. #TimesUp. #BoycottHollywood. Hey, take a joke, snowflake.
LOL. Hey, I know it’s problematic
for me to say this as a straight, white, cis male,
but check your privilege and show this beautiful goddess
some respect. Bartender,
you need to do something about the misogyny in here. Absolutely.
We’re doing everything we can to block people like that
from coming in here, and if we can’t do that,
we don’t deserve to serve you. Speaking of… may I serve you? -Hell yeah, you can.
-(cash register chimes) You know, in Sweden, they don’t
even have a word for “poverty.” -(cash register chimes)
-Eff Tupac. I like Lil Yachty. -(cash register chimes)
-You seem so trustworthy. I just… I feel like
I can tell you anything. (British accent):
Cheerio, then. I love that accent. (giggles) -(cash register chimes)
-Black lives matter. No, blue lives matter and… All lives matter.
You both wrong. I think you mean
you are both wrong. Hey, you want to see a pic
of my kid? ALL:
Aw. (grunts) (all yelling) (cash register chiming) -I demand a white history month!
-Drinks! -The Earth is flat.
-Drinks! Happy birthday. -(laughs)
-(cash register chiming) Make it rain. You better like this pic
of my kid right goddamn now! Stop it! Look at what this place
is doing to you. It’s toxic. Yeah, you’re right. Should we leave? (all yelling) Oh, shit! Nah. I’d miss the sense
of community. Yeah, this is how I connect
to all of my friends. Especially my Bernie Bros. Hell of a business.

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