This Video Will Make You Angry
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This Video Will Make You Angry

Hello Internet. Thoughts compete for space in your brain:
cat photos, news stories, beliefs structures, funny GIFs, educational videos, not-so-educational
videos and your thinking inventory is limited. A thought without a brain to think it, dies. Now we can treat thoughts as though they’re
alive. Specifically alive like germs. That might sound weird but stick with me. Take jokes. Jokes are thought germs that live
in your brain — and when you tell the joke to another brain, you help it reproduce. Just like when you have the flu and sneeze
to help it reproduce. This germ gets into its host by snot through the mouth and this
one by words through the ear but it’s reproduction either way. Logging on to your social media then, is exposing
yourself to everyone’s mental sneezes. Each post a glob of snot with an thought germ trying
to get in your brain — if not for permanent residence then at least long enough to get
you to press the share button and sneeze it with everyone you know. In this analogy then, a funny cat photo with
a perfect caption is a super-flu. Now just as germs exploit weak points in your
immune system, so do thought germs exploit weak points in your brain. A.K.A. emotions. Once inside, thought germs that press emotional
buttons get their hosts to spread them more — measurably more. Well, except sadness,
sad thought germs don’t get very far. Awe is pretty good which is why websites that
construct thought germs like biological weapons arm them with them titles like “7 whatevers
that will blow your mind” or “The Shocking Secret behind… this thing” But anger is the ultimate edge for a thought
germ. Anger, bypasses your mental immune system, and compels you to share it. Being aware of your brain’s weak spots is
necessary for good mental hygiene — like knowing how to wash your hands. Because even
without intentional construction, any thought germ on the Internet can, on its own, grow
more infections as it spreads. To talk about why, lets forget anger for a moment and go
back to that cat photo. Every photo ever taken is a thought germ,
and most die a quick death like the bazillion cat photos (or baby photos) posted on The
Internet that are never shared. But a mildly funny cat photo can grow into so much more,
because just as transatlantic flights were the best thing to happen to germ germs, so
the Internet is the best thing to happen to thought germs. For once on-board, that cat photo is a thought
germ that can leap into other brains. And those brains might share it, and here’s the
key point, occasionally, change it — a Photoshop here, a tweaked caption there. Most changes are terrible, but some make the
thought germ even funnier, getting brains to share it more. Which results in more changes
and a shot at super-stardom. A thus a lowly cat photo can achieve global brain domination.
At least for a few hours. The Internet, with its unparalleled ability
to share and randomly change thought germs can’t help but help make them stronger. With jokes, that’s awesome — but with angry
germs not always so awesome. No. Angry germs, the more they’re shared undergo
the same process, changing and distorting to be more aggravating. These have a better
chance of spreading than their more accurate but more boring rivals. But like plagues, thought germs can burn though
a population too quickly. Just watch your favorite meme generating machine for a week
and you’ll see the life-cycle fly by. However some thought germs have found a way
around burnout. Now, I must warn you, depending on which thought germs live in your head and
which you fight for, the next section might sound *horrifying*. So please keep in mind,
we’re going to talk about what makes some thought germs, particularly angry ones, successful
and not how good or bad they are. OK? Deep breath: calm. Though germs can burn out because once everyone
agrees, it’s hard to keep talking and thus thinking about them. But if there’s an opposing thought germ, an
argument, then the thinking never stops. Disagrement doesn’t have to be angry, but again, angry
helps. The more visible an argument gets the more bystanders it draws in which makes it
more visible is why every group from the most innocuous internet forum to The National Conversation
can turn into a double rage storm across the sky in no time. Wait, these though germs aren’t competing,
they’re co-operating. Working together they reach more brains and hold their thoughts
longer than they could alone. Thought germs on opposite sides of an argument can be symbiotic. One tool symbiotic anger germs in particular
can employ is your-with-us-or-against-us. Whatever thought germ just leaped to the front
of your brain, push it back. This video isn’t about that. We’re just talking about the tool,
and this one makes it hard, for neutral brains to resist and its diviciveness also grows
its symbiotic partner. This explains why, in some arguments gaining
more allies also gains more enemies. Because though the participants think they’re involved
in a firey battle to the death from the anger germs perspective one side is a field of flowers
and the other a flock of butterflies. *Of course* planting more flowers will get you
more butterflies and getting more butterflies will pollinate more flowers. If there is some argument that splits the
population and lasts forever that even the most neutral people find difficult to avoid,
you just might be looking at a super successful pair of symbiotic anger germs that have reached
ecological stability Now, one final depressing though. Uhhhh…
I mean one more Awe inspiring point, that will reveal the secrets of, ahhh — actually
no it’s just depressing. When opposing groups get big they don’t really
argue with each other, they *mostly* argue with themselves about how angry the *other*
group makes them. We can actually graph fights on the Internet to see this in action. Each
becomes its own quasi isolated internet, sharing thoughts about the other. You see where this is going, right? Each group becomes a breeding ground for thought
germs *about* the other — and as before the most enraging — but not necessarily the most
accurate — spread fastest. A group almost can’t help but construct a totem of the other
so enraging they talk about it all the time — which, now that you know how though germs
grow, is exactly what make the totem always perfectly maddening. Now, all this isn’t to say that there’s no
point in arguing. (That’s a different video). Or that the Internet isn’t amazing, or that
there aren’t things worth trying to change peoples’ minds about. And thought germs of
all kinds come and go. But it’s useful to be aware of how thought
can use our emotions to spread and how the more rapidly a thought is able to spread the
more chances it has to become *even better* at spreading through random changes made to
it. Sometimes that’s great, sometimes it’s terrible. But if you want to maintain a healthy brain
it pays to be cautious of thoughts that have passed through a lot of other brains and that
poke you where you are weakest. It’s your brain — be hygienic with it. So, of course this video is a thought germ,
one constructed very intentionally over time to spread a thought germ about thought germs
— exposing their secrets — one could say. But I tried as hard as possible, not to have,
this video attack your brain through emotions, so it could use a little help spreading. Please
be a good germ vector and click the share buttons to sneeze this at your friends. Your
coworkers. Your family. Infect them all. You shared the video, right? Well if you’re
still here, you really got infected hard. Only thing left is to click onscreen and sign
up to the email list which will get you exposed to many more thought germs in stick figure
video form.

100 thoughts on “This Video Will Make You Angry

  1. I think you've explained Brexit, or why its still on the front page of every paper in Britain without mentioning the B word

  2. If the internet can transport thoughts like the flu, does that mean memes are like the funny thought Black Plagues?

  3. So you wanted everyone who sees this angry so you become better known. This is what your video proves. Why did you do this?

  4. Got an ad for the new seasons from keeping up with the kardashians and i got actually mad that thats recommended to me so the title was actually right i guess

  5. Memetric warfare 101. I'm not kidding the CIA, FBI and military does this. Look it up. Smarter every day made a video with the army, FBI released them browsing on 4chan and a whistleblower released CIA plans on a "Memetric Warfare Division" including sh*tposters and all. Welcome to the future.

  6. Dude, you're so dope! I don't know how many vids I've watched from you, but I just had to comment after this one. Keep em coming, please! You've opened my mind with em. Thank you so much 💕

  7. This so perfectly explains the Dress. It pit team black/blue against team gold/white, and the answer looked obvious to everyone. Maybe even a little like anger, not the politics kind but the rival football club kind.

  8. Is this the why reductio ad absurdum and ad hominem are frequently unreasonable, yet so effective and prominent heuristics in arguments? By vilifying the stance of opposition, the sentiments regarding the other side grow more aggravated, thus leading up to the inevitable clash. All the while the neutal ground being seen as craven and frivolous, it is more probable to be the least fabricated mindset of all.

  9. ⓡⓔⓟⓛⓨ ⓐⓝⓨⓣⓗⓘⓝⓖ ⓨⓞⓤ ⓦⓐⓝⓣ (ⓦⓔⓘⓡⓓ ⓦⓞⓤⓛⓓ ⓑⓔ ⓑⓔⓣⓣⓔⓡ)

  10. It's funny how this comment section is a perfect example of this video's message. Every single comment that makes an example has over 20 comments on it.

  11. All the rage in the Rubik’s cubing community is about how stupendously common and annoying g perms are, how v perms always ruin everything, how e perm should be renamed to f perm because it sucks, and pops

  12. Technically the video attacked through emtions, the ending made people feel pity for the video which made them vulnerable to infection.

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