Erica Albright’s a bitch. Do you think that’s because her family changed their name from Albrecht, or do you think it’s because all BU girls are bitches? For the record, she may look like a 34C, but she’s getting all kinds of help from our friends at Victoria’s Secret. She’s a 34B, as in barely anything there. False advertising. The truth is, she has a nice face. I need to do something to take my mind off her. Easy enough, except I need an idea. I’m a little intoxicated, I’m not gonna lie. So what if it’s not even 10:00 p.m. And it’s a Tuesday night? Billy. The Kirkland facebook is open on my desktop, and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. Billy Olson’s sitting here and had the idea of putting some of the pictures, next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on who’s hotter. Good call, Mr. Olson. Yeah, it’s on. I’m not gonna do the farm animals, but I like the idea of comparing two people together. It gives the whole thing a very “Turing” feel. Since people’s ratings of the pictures will be more implicit, than, say, choosing a number to represent each person’s hotness, like they do on hotornot.com The first thing we’re going to need is a lot of pictures. Unfortunately, Harvard doesn’t keep a public centralized facebook, so I’m going to have to get all the images from the individual houses that people are in. Let the hacking begin. First up is Kirkland. They keep everything open and allow indexes in their Apache configuration. So a little Wget magic is all that’s necessary to download the entire Kirkland facebook. Kids’ stuff. Next is Eliot. They’re also open, but with no indexes on Apache. I can run an empty search and it returns all of the images in the database in a single page. And I can save the page and Mozilla will save all the images for me. Excellent. Moving right along. Excuse me! Everybody! You are at one of the oldest, one of the most exclusive clubs, not just at Harvard, but in the world. And I want to welcome you all, to Phoenix Club’s first party
of the fall semester! Lowell has some security. They require a user name/password combo, and I’m gonna go ahead and say they don’t have access to the main FAS user database, so they have no way of detecting an intrusion. Adams has no security, but limits the number of results to 20 a page. All I need to do is break out the same script I used on Lowell and we’re set. Quincy has no online facebook. What a sham. Nothing I can do about that. Dunster is intense. Not only is there no public directory, but there’s no directory at all. You have to do searches, and if your search returns more than 20 matches, nothing gets returned. And once you do get results, they don’t link directly to the images. They link to a PHP that redirects or something. Weird. This may be difficult. I’ll come back later. Hey, Shark Week’s on. What? Great white, beautiful fish. Nice. Leverett is a little better. They still make you search, but you can do an empty search and get links to pages with every student’s picture. It’s slightly obnoxious that they only let you view one picture at a time, and there’s no way I’m going to go to 500 pages to download pics one at a time. So it’s definitely necessary to break out Emacs and modify that Perl script. Done.