Look at my dinner
Did you see my dinner? #Ottolenghi, #NoFilter I spent seven hours in the kitchen for this So validate my domestic bliss Look at my tweet My hilarious tweet I deserve a tick like the Twitter elite Give me a follow, give me a mention I’m really insecure and I need the attention! Look at my selfie
My spontaneous selfie Hair is on my face, so beautiful and carefree. I took 800 photos, all of them shite But this one is worth a comment and a like No one’s liked me post No one’s liked me post! It’s been twenty minutes since I photographed me toast Oh, one like! Oh wait, it’s Uncle John… He’s liked everything I’ve ever done There’s no phone reception! There’s no phone reception! I can’t find f***ing signal in any direction How can I tweet? How can I stalk? There’s nothing left to do but… Talk?!