The Instagram Song
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The Instagram Song


On your facebook I see pictures of Canary Islands ’07 So I double tap To zoom in That’s a sensible progression It’s what I expect It’s what I expect On your twitter I see pictures of a beautiful shoreline So I double tap To zoom in That’s standard interface design It’s what I expect It’s what I expect On your Instagram I see a picture of you and I quite like it So I double tap To zoom in Oh f**cking hell I’ve liked it If I delete my account will that get me out of this situation? If I unlike it immediately will she still get the notification? And if she does how will she think of me after that? I suppose it depends on whether Instagram tells her the exact picture I was looking at. Oh Instagram I’m afraid that it’s fundamentally reckless to meddle with a series of universal gestures. And Instagram I think that it cannot be disputed double-tap has been the standard since Steve Jobs introduced it. I could pretend like it was deliberate like I was making an ironic comment the nature of human duality and the way we … I mean that’s just sh*t I could sporadically like other pictures the effect of which would ideally obscure me singling out the one of you in your bikini So when you get a moment please consider a retraction It’s not too late for you to change the default interaction And also if you get a moment (And I don’t meant to sound bossy) but if possible, when you get a sec, could you ask her to unblock me? I mean I’ve sent like four or five support emails about this so … … just when you get a chance.

100 thoughts on “The Instagram Song

  1. here are the ukulele chords for this song i've done it by ear and what I could see – correct me if i'm wrong

    G
    On your Facebook
    Em
    I see pictures of Canary Islands '07
    G
    So I double-tap

    To zoom in
    Em
    That's a sensible progression
    G
    It's what I expect
    C
    It's what I expect

    G
    On your twitter
    Em
    I see a picture of a beautiful shoreline
    G
    so I double-tap

    to zoom in
    Em
    That's standard interface design
    G
    It's what I expect
    C
    It's what I expect

    G
    On your Instagram

    [long pause and sigh to indicate what I am about to say does not make me happy]
    Em
    I see a picture of you and I quite like it
    G
    So I double tap
    G
    to zoom in
    G
    Oh f***ing hell I've liked it.

    C G
    If I delete my account will that get me out of this situation?
    Am G
    If I unlike it immediately will she still get the notification?
    C G
    And if she does how will she think of me after that?
    Am G
    I suppose it depends on whether Instagram tells her the exact picture I was looking at.

    C G
    Oh Instagram I'm afraid that it's fundamentally reckless
    Am G
    to meddle with a series of
    C G
    universally recognised gestures.

    C G
    And Instagram I think that it cannot be disputed
    Am
    Double-tap to zoom
    G
    has been the standard
    C G
    since Steve Jobs introduced it.

    C
    I could pretend like it was deliberate
    G
    like I was making an ironic comment on
    A
    the nature of human duality and the way we …
    G
    I mean that's just sh*t.

    C
    I could sporadically like other pictures
    G
    the effect of which would ideally
    A
    obscure me singling out the one of
    G
    you in your bikini


    C G
    So when you get a moment please consider a retraction
    A G
    it's not too late for you to change the
    C G
    default interaction

    C
    and also if you get a moment
    G
    (and I don't mean to sound bossy)
    A
    but if possible, when you get a sec,
    G
    could you ask her to unblock me?

  2. Hey James, you do such amazing works that brighten up any day. You're ted talks were amazing and please keep doing amazing things like this.

  3. DOUBLE TAP TRIPLE TAP I POST THE SAME PICTURE OF A WHITE WALL EVERYDAY GET THOSE HOODIES YOU SCROLLED THAT FAR YOU MAY AS WELL FOLLOW ME THEN

  4. Hey britches can we get this on iTunes

    Btw I didn’t say britches… that was apples top notch auto correct… I ment to say veitch

  5. Are you still replying to scam emails?

    I'd love to see how you handle that one that claims they have video of you having 'alone time' on a p∅rⁿ site.

  6. James Veitch,
    ur my role model, spirit animal, and my crush
    I've suffered with social anxiety for the longest time and ur the one person I feel like I could talk to without having a panic attack. Ur so chill, funny and honestly the nicest guy in existence. I'm gonna crawl into a hole and ball my eyes out now because I just realized that I admitted to having a crush on u. (Yes I'm from Texas and no most Texans don't have country accents or wear cowboy boots but I will admit we do say y'all a lot)

  7. I love how at the beginning you think it's a song complaining about Instagram and it turns out to be about a girl that blocked him. lol

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