The BEST Secrets of Networking with Miss ADS and Ray Abram
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The BEST Secrets of Networking with Miss ADS and Ray Abram


– Hello, hi. This is Andrea, with the ADS Agency, here with my good friend, Ray Abram. And we’re here today talking all about the best secrets of networking. The best secrets of networking. And if you’re here, please
say hello, we’re really semi-concerned about
our technology tonight, because we are, we think
we’re live, but we never know we’re live until someone
says “Hi, we see you!” So, if you can hear us, if you can see us, please just say hello, tell us
where you’re chiming in from. We, just now can see two
people, I think, one person? Daryl said, “Way to pack your life!” Yay, and Tasha’s here, yay, okay, we’re working, we’re working! Thankfully! We think our cell phone tower
must be down or something, we don’t know, but in any case, thank you so much for joining! All right, so we’re so
excited about this today, sincerely so excited. Again, if you’re here, make
sure you chime in and say hello. Hey, Pralad, how’s it going? Tell us where you’re
chiming in from tonight, and be thinking about your
tips, questions, whatever, all around networking. This is all about the best
secrets of networking, okay? And, we’re doing this because why? Natasha from ATL, yes! Why are we doing this? Because we run into so
many people who, you know, they are in that situation
where they’re walking in a room, they walk into a room, and
they know no one there. They don’t know anybody,
nobody really looks like them, no one’s talking like them,
they don’t know what to do, they don’t know what to
say, they don’t know how to approach people and what do
you do in those situations? Especially when you’re there for business. Jen Hill, mwah! Yes, it’s working, yes! Hello, thanks so much for saying hello. Again, if you’re here, say
hello, let us know where you’re chiming in from, we’re
so glad to see you here. Also, wanted to share with
you, real quick, if you’re here tonight, we do have some,
we don’t always have prizes, but we do have prizes today! One is The 4-Hour Workweek,
I’ve been wanting to read this, Ray has read this,
I’m going to introduce you to Ray in just a second. 4Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss, if you’ve read this book let me know. I’ve been wanting to read
this for a minute, I mean who doesn’t, that title alone is amazing. 4-Hour Work Week, I want to be on a beach, with a four hour work week. (laughs) And then the other
thing we’re giving away, if you share this today Hey, January! That’s January! – I know. – Never Eat Alone. Never Eat Alone, which
was highly recommended by a client of mine, and
so these are two books we’re giving away, for
people who share this. If you can share it live,
that would be wonderful. It’s also for the people
who share it on the replay, through Friday, so please
share, like, comment, all those good things. All right? So, again we’re talking about
the best secrets of networking here with Ray Abram. And let me tell you just a
little something about Ray, before we get started. Ray is a graduate of Hampton University. – That’s right, H.U. – H.U. Speech communications major,
man of Alpha Phi Alpha. – That’s right, ’06. – First, first, all right. He’s a super connector, super
connector, he does events in the city, all throughout the city, they’ve been wildly successful. If you’ve not been to them,
you need to follow his page, Coach Ray Abram, also go to
his newsletter if you can, go to his website RayAbram.com,
R-A-Y-A-B-R-A-M dot com, we’ll link to that later. But you can sign up for his
emails there, get all the information, it’s great tips and such. He’s also got a blog there
that you’ll want to follow, so it’s really awesome, he’s
been working nicely on those. Ray, being a super connector,
he helps people find jobs, through his connections,
he’s helped people find great opportunities for business,
and all of that using his trademark strategies around
networking and maintaining a strong personal network. So, please welcome my guest, Ray Abram. – Thank you, Andrea. – Yeah, thank you. So, all right, now we’re
going to dig right into it. I’m a little late turning this over, I remembered this today. All right, so, 30 minutes,
this is 30 minutes. If my sister ever chimes
in, she’ll also let me know if we’re late or not. So, we’re digging right in now. Four secrets of networking. The first, we’ll go through
the first four, and then we’ll dig into these for you. It’s forget about yourself,
the second is all about energy. The third is give, give, give. And the fourth is be memorable. Okay? So, forget about yourself,
all about energy, give, give, give and be memorable. Those are the four big secrets
we’re going to break down for you today. So, you ready to dig right in? – Absolutely, absolutely. – All right, so, forget about yourself. This tip, tell me a little
bit about your take on this, when you’re in a networking
situation, what does forget about yourself mean? – Right, so forget about yourself
means that you have to be interested in the person, right? Before anyone can be interested in you, you have to be interested in them. There’s an old saying that
comes to recollection that nobody cares, nobody cares
about you until they know how much you care about them. I think I messed it up,
but you guys get the point. – Yeah.
(laughs) – But, basically, people
don’t care what you know, until they know how much you care. That’s the right way to say it. So, when you are talking to
somebody, people are interested in what’s in it for them, not
so much what’s in it for you. So, quite often in networking
opportunities, we start the conversation and just
say, “Hi, name is Ray Abram, “I do this, I do that,”
and believe it or not, people are not even really
hearing what you’re saying. They’re waiting for their
opportunity to talk. So, the key to that is to
have a conversation, but be inquisitive, and ask with
sincerity and authenticity. You have to be curious about
people, not just wait for your opportunity to sell them something. I think that’s what people
hate about networking. – Yeah, exactly, you know,
because they go in there with a mindset, of course
you’re there for business. Nine times out of 10, you’re
there for business, right, because you’ve got a business to pitch, you’re in sales mode, you
need to get a new deal, you need a new project,
whatever it is, I mean, this is about money at the end of the day. We’re trying to make money, and
we need people in businesses to make money, this is all part of sales. However, you know, the vomit
of sales that some people spew is what, is so offputting. – It is, yes. – Don’t come in my face
immediately with your pitch. I know you’re here to network,
I’m here to network, too, but it ultimately starts with
do I even want to help you? – Right. – Like you, first of all. – That’s it. – Know, like and trust. We have to know, like and trust
people, and if I don’t even barely know who you are,
I know nothing about you, I don’t even know if I like
you yet and I definitely don’t trust you yet, why would I
buy anything from you yet? So, do not come out the
gate trying to get people to buy things, that is
not what this is about. This is about opening up the
door for relationships, right? – Yes, yes. – So, focus on the other person
in front of you, focus on the people in front of you, do
not be looking at the buffet and thinking, I’m so hungry,
and when can I have that crab cake, and I really
want a drink right now, and why did I come? You know, your focus
needs to be right there. – The person in front of you
needs to feel like they are the most important person in
the room, because everybody wants to feel like that, no
matter what their status, no matter what they do, people
who can make another person feel important, even for a few
minutes, really do very well. – Make the other person feel
important, that’s so good. I think you did mention listening, the importance of listening. – Yes. – So, there’s two sides of this
because there are the people who are the extroverts and
that’s really hard for them to listen oftentimes, because they
are the talkers in the room. – Yes, yes. – They’re big personalities,
if you’re an extrovert and you’re chiming in now, let us know. Most people out there are your extroverts. Hey, Marlene, hello! You’re either extroverts,
way up here, high energy, you’re, you know, you’re the
gregarious person in the room. Extroverts, there’s the
ambiverts which are like a mix, you know, you’re a little bit
outgoing but you’re also okay with observing, I feel like
I’m in that mix of sometimes I’ve got that energy and sometimes
I’m just people watching. – Yep, just watching, just sitting back. – And introverts are
probably the most reserved. I’m not going to say quiet,
I hate that word, quiet. That was always what
people said I was great at, which was a little bit true, maybe. But, very quiet, reserved,
they are definitely observing all the time, you know,
so if you’re an extrovert, listening is generally hard
for you, because you’re often the life of the party, you’re the talker. So, that’s something extroverts
really have to work on is reeling it back, and listening more than they are doing this. – And one thing that I will
say, one key, one of the tips, right, is to, and it sounds so simple, but people don’t do it anymore, is read. Be well read. You would be surprised at
just reading a newspaper. You know, we get all of our
information, because there’s so much information coming at us these days, we’re all in our filter bubble. And that makes you kind
of uninteresting, right? So, you can talk, you
know, ad nauseum about one certain topic, but quite often, we’re not very well
versed in a lot of topics. So, you know, I encourage
you, you know, read. You know, go to the library,
you know, pick some books up about different subjects,
learn about different things so that when you’re in
situations and you meet someone who’s not in your career,
your industry, who is not necessarily someone who
would be in your peer circle, you can have a conversation
with them about something that you read. So, kind of break outside of
your filter bubble, you know Facebook and Twitter, and
read some other things that would be interesting. And not just snippets and articles, we’ve become a sound byte. – So guilty, I’m so guilty. – I know, we’ve become guilty
of being a sound byte culture. – We just want to scan
and get something fast. – Right, and so we have a
bunch of facts, but it makes it more difficult for us to have
an in-depth conversation with someone, you know, about a certain topic. So that’s something that I try
to focus on and I recommend to my clients as one of the
best ways to connect with people is to understand where they’re
coming from, and in order to understand where they’re coming from, it helps if you’re well read. – Love it, and to that point,
just a reminder for those of you just chiming in, we are
giving away these two books, which I can’t wait to read. I got them because I want to read them. Never Eat Alone, and The 4-Hour Workweek. Awesome, awesome books. Natasha says she likes that
and Jan Hill says great tip. – Oh, nice. – Super, so if you share this today, we’re giving away copies of
these to people who share. Not to everybody, but we’ll pick people between now and Friday. And you could get one of these
awesome, super amazing books. To be well read, so you
can be more interesting, have much more to talk
about besides the snippets that we read. Such a great tip. You’re so right, but it’s true, when I made myself sit down
and read That One Thing book, which we did a chat
about not too long ago, with David Patterson, you know,
that was like awesome to me and it was in my head, and
I was like, ah, it’s so amazing and I was talking
to everybody about it, like “have you read the One Thing book? “Well, let me tell you what’s in it.” – Yes, yes, and now you
have conversation starters – Yeah, people are like, “That’s so good!” You’re like all the
tips and everything, so. He’s so on it. Hey, Nicki, that’s my sister Nicki. So, very cool. Art Frasier, hello, Art,
thanks for chiming in! So awesome! We have so much to talk about. All right, that was forget
about yourself and one last thing before we leave that
first tip forget about yourself that’s really a secret,
forget about yourself, which is hard for us to do, we
deal with ourselves all day, the last one I think is
more like a super networker thing to do, is to seek to involve others. And I’ve done this quite
often, in a room, if you see the introverts in the
room, or maybe ambiverts who are just not feeling it
that day, and they are just not on their high energy mode,
you know, they are often the wallflowers, they are to
themselves, no one’s talking to them, they feel awkward,
they’re like, why did I come to this, I’m just so mad
that I made myself come to this thing, and why did
I come, because no one’s talking to me, no one’s
interacting with me. As a super networker, those
of you who are ambiverts or extroverts, you have the
power to pull people in, and involve them in that group,
involve them in that circle. Be that way for them to
get into that conversation, so that they’re not alone,
so they don’t feel alone. – I’m gonna give you a tip. – Yeah. – All right, so here’s tip number two. So, when you go to a
networking event, one key is to and this is a tip, I do this, talk to the first person you see. – The first person. – The first person, doesn’t
matter who they are. Because what happens is,
you go to these events and if you’re like I used to be,
before I learned all of this, you know, you kind of go and
you’re looking around the room to see that perfect contact. You know, somebody, oh he looks
like he could be a customer. Or he looks like he needs a house, or she looks like she needs a car. Or whatever it is that
you’re selling, you try to, just by looking around the room, find somebody who would
be a good customer, or someone who looks like
they are waiting for someone to talk to, someone who
would be easy to walk up to. – Easy to talk to, yeah. – Right, so you’re kind of looking around. – Or somebody you know. – Somebody you know – And that’s bad, don’t
immediately go to your friends. – Of course, because then you’ll
stand there for 30 minutes, just talking with your
friend, and catching up. – You already know them. – Right. – You already know them. – Exactly, so I think this
goes to your next tip, about building your energy, right? You have to warm up, it’s
almost like in sports. So, it doesn’t matter what
the first person you talk to talks about and the next
question usually is, well, what do I say, because
I don’t even know this person, I don’t know what they
want, you know what? It doesn’t matter what you
say, you can say anything. You know, how do you like the food, do you live around here, anything! – Have you been to these events before? – Anything. It doesn’t matter what you say, it just matters that you say something. Talk to the first person you see. Here’s another tip. Only talk to them for 30 seconds. – Only, that’s hard! – No, it isn’t. – How do you do that? – Hey Andrea, how you doing? – Good, how are you? – You been here before, you
come to these type of events? – Yeah, no, it’s my first time. – What line of work are you in? – I’m in marketing branding. – Oh, nice, okay, cool,
alright, I’m walking around, I’ll talk to you in a little bit. – All right, awesome! – Boom. Now, you keep it moving, you
talk to the next person, right? – That’s the key. – Then you move and you
talk to the next person, and you rinse and repeat. You keep just walking around the room, 30 second conversations,
finding out what people do. Now, you’re taking
mental notes, you go back and see the people that
you want to connect with. Also, when you meet people,
you know, down the line, other people in the room,
you can find out that for instance, Andrea
is a marketing person, if I meet someone who is the
marketing person at Coca-Cola, I can say, “Oh, you know,”
and I can, back to your point, introduce the two of you,
you know, Andrea over here. Now, the person I just met
has no idea that I just met Andrea three minutes ago. It doesn’t matter, you
automatically become a connector in the room. – That’s a super connector tip. I’m going to add that, I thought
we were in Networking 101, he just took that to
Networking 105 or something. I love that. – It’s not really difficult,
but it does take some effort, because it doesn’t come naturally. I think we tend to walk in
and just have conversations. – To Karl’s point, he says
I don’t do that, though I chat a bit too much at times. – Many people do, and you know what? That’s okay. If you find somebody that
you just connect with, you know, it’s okay where you meant it, and we do strive for that, but
if you want to get the most out of your networking events,
you know, kind of do it quickly first, again this
is just like a first round. I say it’s like a buffet, right? You ever been to a buffet? You know, I love Swedish meatballs, right? But I’m not going to just
stand there, and just eat all the Swedish meatballs, right? – Okay, I got ya, yes. – You know, you go down, you
get a little bit of everything, and then you come back. And, you know, I may get me
five or six Swedish meatballs on the second, you know, so
think of a networking event as a buffet, and you’re
just kind of going down, getting a little sample of
everything, seeing who’s there, and then come back later,
because now you’ve already introduced yourself to the person, right? So now when you come back,
they’re like “oh, Ray!” – It’s the familiarity, you came back, they feel special because
you came back, you know? – Exactly. – Oh, there must be a good reason why they want to talk to me. – Now, you have that five minute
or 10 minute conversation, to get more in depth, but
again, you’re not trying to sell anything, at this point. You’re simply trying to find out what– – What people do, what field are they in? That’s kind of good, it’s kind of a way to get the lay of the land
of the room, immediately. – Exactly. But the key is to hit it and
talk to the first person. – I like it. So, first tip was forget about yourself. And now number two is all about energy. Energy. And so think about this
tip and we have so much to chat about, but I love
the energy one, because number one, it’s so important
the way you walk into a room, your presence when you walk
in a room says so much. Oh, there’s a question from Thomas. We’re going to get to your question. He says, “Do you pass out
business cards still at networking “events, or do people lose those?” I definitely do business
cards, I have some right here. I get a stack of at least this many, of at least this many, every time. – Do you mind if I answer this? – Oh, yeah. – So, Thomas, so yes, I still
pass out business cards. Business cards are important,
but not for the reason people believe they are. Business cards are like
advertisements, all right? And what science is showing,
you have to see an ad 27 times before you remember it, right? It doesn’t stick in your head. If you imagine, like, if you
just saw one magazine ad, or one TV ad, one time, you’re not going to remember that product. And the same thing is
true with business cards. And so I think people use
business cards, and say, here’s my card, and assume
that person is going to remember them, and will call them. And I’ll ask you, you know, how
many people have ever called you from your business card,
to buy something from you? – Not to buy, no. – Nobody ever has. The only people who call
you from a business card are trying to sell you something, right? So, it’s not that business
cards don’t work, it’s simply that they don’t get enough
exposure from a business card. The reason business cards are
important is that when you give them yours, they’ll
give you theirs, right? And so now you have something
that you can follow up, you have to proactive. I can say nobody will
ever, but in my experience, nobody has ever, I’ve been
doing this for a little while, passing out business cards,
I have passed out a whole box of business cards and I
have never gotten a call from somebody saying, “Hey,
Ray, I got your business cards, “can I give you my money?” Never. So what you have to do
is you get your pile of business cards from them,
from the event, but now you actually follow up
and call those folks. Not to sell them, but just
to continue the conversation. – Yeah, and the followup is hard. We’re going to get back to the second tip. – Oh yeah, sorry. – No, that’s good. This is good, thank you
Thomas for that question. That was really good. You know, follow up is, I
mean we could spend a whole another conversation on followup alone. Because it’s hard, first of all it’s hard. You get a stack of cards
you’ve got to go through, you know and in a perfect
world, if every card was matte and you could write on it, you
could sneak in little notes who you remember, they
mentioned this, I really want to reach out to them about that. Because at the end of the night,
you end up with a stack of cards like this, and you’re
like, who did I mean to talk to? Unless, it’s like the one
or two people that are so memorable, which we’ll get
to being memorable in just a minute, that you specifically remember. You know, it’s hard to go
back through the next day, and if I don’t do it the next
day, it’s not getting done. – Right. – It’s just not, yeah. – I use an app called Full Contact. – Full Contact, he’s an app guy. – Yeah, it’s an app called
Full Contact that allows you to take a picture of the card,
and there’s actually someone who types it out for you. So, yes, I use that app,
because like you said, if you get 40 or 50
cards, it takes so long when you get home to type everything in. LinkedIn used to have
something called Card Munch, but they discontinued that. – They did, I used that for a minute. – Yeah, they discontinued that. But Full Contact has the
same functionality and you get so many cards for free, you know? You just take a picture of it,
and it puts it automatically into your contact list. – So, and I stopped putting
people into my contact list. I used to do that, but
now what I’ll try to do is Excuse these sirens, if you hear them. This is the city, so. So, what I try to do is if I
do get to my stack of cards, is send everyone an email,
and I don’t know if this is great or not, this is just what I do. I do an email and I’ll just
say something like hey and the subject line will be
something like nice to meet you, nice to have met you, and
it will be a little bit pretty much the same
email to everyone, so I’ll copy paste it, but if I remember
something about someone, I’ll tweak it, and I’ll be
like, “Hey, Valencia, it was “so great to meet you,
really enjoyed what you were “chatting about with your
magazine, I want to hear more “about that, let’s have coffee
soon, if you’ve got time, “if you’d like to do that.” You know, so you just kind of
extend that offer to everyone, if you want, don’t give it
to people you don’t actually want to meet with. – Exactly, you have to
be authentic with it. – Yeah. All right, so the energy
part, all about energy, point number two, is really about walking in a room, with energy. You know, we’re not saying
be unnatural with it, it may feel a little unnatural,
especially for those of you who are not up here
all the time, you know? It may take you, you gotta
like, to Ray’s point, warm up a bit, so if it
doesn’t come to you naturally, you might have to really
practice, but there’s a wonderful podcast that I listened to one time. It’s called Art of Charm, and
they had this wonderful tip on there about walking
into a room, specifically for networking events, and they recommend, if this is hard for you,
put a little colored sticky on door frames in your house,
or even in your office, you can get your office to do it with you, and it’s just a funny little thing. Every time you walk through
a door frame, that sticky reminds you to, you know,
straighten up, shoulders back, beautiful, warm genuine
smile, and you’re walking through a room, you know,
like, with confidence and with, you know, you’re
approachable is the point. – Yes, yes. Be approachable. – I could talk all day about people who are not approachable. – Be approachable, be
approachable, exactly. – So, energy is good. Any other conversation
around that, you’ve got? – No, like I said, just
kind of the warming up. And you hit it on the
head, if you act energetic, people will see you as
being energetic, so yeah. And also, being popular, right? You can become this, high
school all over again, right? So, you can become the most popular person in the networking event. What’s so beautiful
about networking events, as opposed to high school
is nobody knows you. So, they don’t know that
you don’t know everybody in the place, so you
can reinvent yourself at every networking event. You can become that energetic person, you can become who you want to be. Again, being authentic at
your core, but you can act to become what you want to be. – Yeah, and that can be hard, again, if you’re an introvert
or even an ambivert, you know, you gotta like
gear yourself up for this, so you know, gear yourself to
have a little bit more energy than you normally bring in a space. And then the other thing
is maintaining that energy. You know, you can’t just walk
through the room with energy, through the door, and
then five minutes later, we look at you and your face
says don’t come over here. – Yeah, got it. – Don’t have that resting
face that we all know about, that is not what you want
in a networking situation, the resting thing doesn’t
work well, at all. It will do exactly what you want it to do, which is repel people, so they’ll be like I’m not coming to see her Next. All right, so that was energy. The next one is, which we
love, give, give, give. – Be generous. Generosity is the key to networking. It’s giving value. You and I were talking earlier
about quite often you’ll meet somebody at another level,
a CMO, a C-level executive, or somebody that maybe
you’ve always wanted to meet, but you feel like there’s nothing you could possibly offer them. But everybody has something,
and everybody needs something. So, it’s all a matter now
of just making that match. You know, find out, what I
call what’s your superpower? Everybody has it, and I
wrote in my blog recently, I just always found this was a great story about Farnsworth Bentley. He wanted to work for Diddy. And, you know, he didn’t have
money, he didn’t have access. But one thing he did have,
he had the ability to dress really stylishly, and he just
kind of made himself available consistently to where Diddy
would be, and he would always have these nice outfits on,
until one day he caught his attention and ended up working with him. So, find out what your superpower is. And whatever that is, trust
me, there’s somebody who needs that, and it could
be you listen really well. You tell great stories,
you’re funny, you know how fix things around the house. Just things like that, that
you take for granted because they come natural to you. Someone needs that, and if
you can be generous with that, you can build a relationship. People need information,
they need contacts, they need resources, they obviously need
money, but any one of those things you can provide to people, quite often don’t cost anything. You can, you know, simply
email an article to someone you met at a networking event. You find out that they’re
in, like I know Andrea is in marketing, if I read a cool
article about marketing, I’ll just send her an email. Or if there’s a book I see
that’s interesting about marketing, I’ll send her an
email or a note about it. So, just kind of staying in
front of people is easy to do, but you have to, I read recently, you have to give, give, give,
give before you ask, right? And that’s the key. – Exactly, because if you
think about the psychology behind that, and this is
really getting into so much of now more of what branding
is, because it’s more about who you are, a superpower is
more about identifying who you are, and what makes you
so different and unique. But, I love that formula
of give, give, give, ask, because by the time you’ve
given so much, if you are actually giving something
of value, that someone finds useful, helpful to them,
they’re grateful that you took the time to do that for
them, and you’ve done that over and over and over for them? By the time you ask for
something, they’re going to be dang near begging you, how
can I help you, because I want to help you so much
because you’ve helped me so much. – Yes. – And I just, you know, all you want me to do is
this one simple thing? You got it. No problem. – Exactly. – You got it. – Exactly. – I love that. Give, give, give. Nicki’s our time-keeper. Yeah, Valencia, those
are awesome tips, right? Thank you for putting those down here. And finally our last one is be memorable. I’m trying to do sticky
notes because I like them. Be memorable. Which is so key to so many of this, and there’s so many tips in this, but I’m gonna let you do yours first. – So, I’m going to give
away one of my tips. I know you said I’m giving
the 400 level class, but… – No, I want it. No, it’s good for me, because
I, you know, I unashamedly feel like I’m a decent networker,
but your tips are like… I’m like taking notes
myself, like wait a minute, I didn’t know about that,
let me try that next time. – So, this is an interesting
tip, and it sounds so counterintuitive, but anybody
who has met me probably didn’t even realize this, but
I never tell people my name, until they ask for it. – Really? – Never tell people my
name until they ask for it. – Because you want people to… – To remember it. People, when you walk up to
somebody, hold out your hand and tell them your name,
“Hi, my name is Ray Abram.” – They won’t remember it, right? – 10 seconds later. And we all know that, but we
all do that, it’s just a habit. People, or humans, we
are what Robert Cialdini, that’s a great another good
book if you guys haven’t read, Influence by Robert Cialdini, I think is how it’s pronounced. And he talks about how people
are click-whir machines, he says where, you know,
basically just out of habit, you know, so, “Hi, my name is
Ray Abram,” and you stick out your hand and say, “Hi,
my name is Andrea Smith.” But the interaction nobody
really remembers and it doesn’t stand out because
we’re just kind of acting out of habit, right? So, by not telling somebody
my name, and we may talk for several minutes, like
I’ll come by and say, hey, and I’ll walk around, find
out your name, you know? You know then I’ll walk around,
and then when I come back, we talk for a few minutes and
you realize after a while, I don’t know this guy’s name and we’ve talked for 10 minutes. And then you say, “I’m sorry,
I didn’t get your name.” Then when I tell you, you’ll remember it. – Hopefully, yes, that’s
a good, I like that tip, it’s just a nice little nuance
to get people interested first, and then they’re
more likely to remember. – Exactly, and if the person
doesn’t ask you for your name, they wouldn’t remember it anyway. They’ll never, yeah. – I do several different things as well. So, if you notice, this
is my little name badge. It says Andrea Smith,
Senior Brand Whatever, Senior Brand Director, Strategist, I made it up and put it on
this nice lovely name badge for ADS, and it’s magnetic,
ladies, so you’re not dealing with a pin through you clothes,
like a lot of networking places will make you put
a pin on your outfit. So, magnetic nice little name
badge, on your right side, so when you do shake
hands, people do see that, it’s just little subtle thing,
subtle psychological thing. But, in addition to it
being here, so they can visually see it, which is
always helpful, you know, because you will forget,
someone says your name, just like Ray said, you’ll
forget almost immediately. Ugh, we’re almost out of time. We’re on our last tip, so
we’ll hurry through this. I can’t even believe we
go through this last tip. So, the thing about name
badges is you’ve got your name badge, it’s visual. But if you really want
someone to remember your name, repeating it several times,
just naturally in conversation, will help people. Even if you don’t have a name badge on. You could say, “You know what,
Mary, the other day I was “walking down the street and
someone said hey, Andrea, “how’s it going?” And I was like yeah, it’s cool, you know, and I just thought to
myself, Andrea, why don’t you blah, blah, blah, and
then, you know, so I said, “Yeah, Andrea, that’s what you should do.” Whatever, however you integrate that into, if you at last say your
name two or three times, that’s helpful to the
other person, helping them remember your name. I always appreciate when people do that. I’ve heard people introduce themselves, and they’ll say their name
a couple times in their introduction, and it’s so helpful. It’s often the one
person I’ll ever remember in a room that introduced
themselves, is the person who said their name two or three times. Yeah, so that’s really helpful. – Oh, yeah. Yeah, again, it’s all about
branding and advertising, and networking events is no different. You are advertising
yourself and your service, so you have to repeat things. People’s mind wander, it’s
just human nature, you know, be repetitive, but also
remember the follow up, so, you know, if I could maybe
kind of sum up a little bit about what we just kind of talked about. So, be present, right? Which is the forget about yourself. Be present, with that
person you’re talking to. Don’t be thinking about,
don’t think about the next person you’re going to talk
to, or look around the room while you’re engaging. Engage, be present, have energy, right? So, walk into a room with a purpose. So, you’re there to work,
not to just chat it up with one or two people, or find
the person that you know, or stand in the corner or wait
for somebody to talk to you. Give, give, give. So, always, make sure that,
remember networking is like growing a garden instead
of hunting, right? So, it’s not about going out
and shooting at different things, and either I hit it or I don’t. It’s about watering that
plant, then you cultivate it, then you can get the fruit
at some point in the future, if you’ve done your work on the front end. And then finally, be memorable, you know? So, find out what works for
you, I mean I gave a tip, Andrea gave a tip, but
find out what works for you that people will remember. And it could be, you know,
just wear a certain color, wear something that you
can bring up later in your conversations with them so
that they will remember you. – Yeah, remember I had on
that bright yellow blazer, or you talked to me about such and such. – Exactly. – You know, that story about whatever. Stories, I feel make you memorable. You know, and also, for the
people you really want to connect with, an old-fashioned
hand-written note, which is high energy for us,
like we don’t write anymore, and you know, we have to drop
it in the mail and all that, but I can’t tell you the
number of people who have kept a hand-written note that I’ve sent them. So, if someone’s very
important to you, you really want to get in that door,
try a hand-written note. Natasha says, I need to share
this with all the new members of National Black MBA Association, I was with last night. – Yeah, I planned to be
at that last night, but– – I know, I couldn’t go either. – I had tickets to the McDonald’s
basketball game last night. – Yeah, how was that? – It was great, I couldn’t miss that. Yeah, absolutely, let’s talk
about bringing this to the National Black MBA Association. – Yeah, please do share it, Natasha. And thanks so much to
everyone who chimed in today, again, for those of you
who shared, and I saw a couple people who
shared already, thank you. We have two books to give away today. To Ray’s point, about being
well read, and David Patterson has told us also before, to be well read. These are two great
books that we super love, well people have recommended to me. I’m going to read these. – Two of my favorite books. – And I want to give these
to some of you out there, so if would just simply share
this, we’re picking someone between now and Friday to
give a copy of these to. These are mine, ha. But I’m going to send a copy
to, one of these to someone, and one of these to someone. Never Eat Alone, or The 4-Hour
Work Week by Tim Ferriss. You’ve read both of them? – Yeah, they’re two of my favorite books. Great books. – I’ve gotta keep up, so. So, also thank you so much,
really appreciate this, very very helpful, and I
learned something today and Ray this is for you, for being– – Thank you. – I know, I love it, for
being a marvelous guest. I really appreciate you being here, so. – Cool, thanks for having me. – All right. Okay, you guys have a good night. Thanks so much, and feel free
to still leave your questions, comments, in the notes, we’ll go back and check them later. – Yeah, absolutely. – Thank you, have a good one. – Thanks, bye.

9 thoughts on “The BEST Secrets of Networking with Miss ADS and Ray Abram

  1. What was YOUR best secret you loved from this chat? We have so many!! What tips did we miss? Let us know!

    Secret #1: Forget About Yourself
    Secret #2: All About Energy
    Secret #3: Give, Give, Give
    Secret #4: Be Memorable

  2. READ. Be well read. Have something interesting to talk about outside of your own industry bubble and life. Be well-versed in a variety of topics.

  3. If you want to get the most out of your networking events, treat it like a buffet. Sample the room first, then go back for what you want.

  4. Be genuinely curious about people. Don't just wait for the opportunity to sell them something (which is what people HATE about networking).

  5. I actually liked a few of the tips. One I liked that is actually common sense but I don't think about is "working the room". I have a tendency to chat a bit too much because I enjoy the convo so much with certain people that sometimes I don't get around as much as I should. The other I like is the "be memorable", the mix of what the business cards are "really" used for and repeating my name within the convo so that people do not easily forget.

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