‘Ma’am, the results
of the recent elections are out.’ ‘Despite the money we spent,
we got only 120 votes. What do we do now?’ Kittu, where are you?
– ‘Near the temple.’ – I’m here too. Come soon. Greetings, ma’am.
– Greetings, Kittu. Now be seated. How did it go so wrong?
– What went wrong? Don’t you know or are you fooling around?
– No, I’m not. I only returned from city today. We lost the elections, Kittu.
– What! – We lost face and even money. Ups and downs are common in life..
– Shut up! You didn’t lose a penny so you’ll talk philosophy.
I lost Rs. 50 lakhs! With that money I could’ve bought
2 acres of land. I lost it all. Before all this began, I told you
I wasn’t interested in politics but you said, ‘The whole village is right behind you.’
I lost Rs. 50 lakhs now! Well, our electoral symbol matches
with our opponent’s. So, the villagers got confused. They got confused? They got fooled?
No, they made me look like a fool. Are the villagers too dumb not to understand
the difference between earthen pot and a vessel? Stop giving lame excuses!
– Man, she is pissed. During the campaigning, we visited every home
and gifted them an earthen pot with Rs. 3000 in it. We lost the money and even the pots.
– I doubt none voted for us in ward 6 and 7. Had we lost the elections by a margin
of 100 votes, what you said would’ve made sense. But we only got 100 votes in all.
It means none voted for us in none of the wards. Only 100?
– A week ago, each one of our workers were upbeat. But now that we lost, they all deserted us.
– They all are opportunistic idiots. Anyways, where have you been?
You’ve been missing since the election day. I’ve been to my in-laws’ place.
– I see! Gorged on good food? – Oh, yeah! Screw you! Anyways, we paid Rs. 2k for each vote.
So your family alone received Rs. 14k. What did you do with that money?
– We bought a fridge. The water now is so cool. Don’t use the word cool around me.
It is pissing me off! Your uncle’s family received Rs. 18k. What did they do?
– They bought half Tula gold for cousin’s wedding. You guys are actually having a ball!
Have you spotted Mallesh’s son, by the way? Who? That jumpy handed Satti?
– Yeah. Have you seen him? He went to Goa for a long vacation.
He returned only the other day. What! Before the elections he told me
he’ll make each of his 30 friends vote for me and took Rs. 60k from me.
I also gave him cricket kits to woo the youth. Didn’t expect he’d bowl us out.
– Every young guy should’ve voted for you then. – Yeah! There goes Satti.
– Go bring him here to me. “Colombus, Colombus..”
– Hey, Satti! Yes, Colombus?
– What nonsense? I’m Kittu! – My bad. Ma’am wants to see you.
– You mean Sarpanch Sandhya. Sarpanch, my foot! She lost badly.
– How is that possible? – Who knows? Now come on. Here is Satti, ma’am.
– Where have you been, Satti? I had gone to appear for an exam.
– An exam in Goa? – No! I only had an exam in Java. I see. Now, tell me the truth.
– I swear on Kittu. – Don’t you even dare! Calm down, Kittu. Did you vote for me?
– Of course! Who else will I vote for? I don’t believe you.
– Believe me! I swear on Kittu! Ma’am, he is fooling around.
– Are you planning on killing Kittu? Don’t forget he has 2 wives and a daughter.
– What! – I mean, 2 daughters and a wife. I don’t believe you. Call up Skinny Ajay.
– You don’t believe me? Say that looking into my eyes! Shut up, you idiot! Now call Ajay.
– Fine. Here, I’m calling him. You are not calling, your phone is.
– Shut up! Turn on the speaker. Ajay, whom did we vote for?
– ‘We voted for Sandhya.’ Whom did I vote for?
– ‘For Sandhya.’ Whom did our home boys vote for?
– ‘They all voted for Sandhya too.’ Would you believe me atleast now?
– I guess. What sysmbol did you vote for? I voted for your sysmbol, the vessel.
– You idiot! My sysmbol was the earthen pot. You didn’t even know that?
– Shit! – You’re too dumb to even attend engineering. You take my money, vote for my rival and then go to Goa?
– Fine, I didn’t vote for you. But, I didn’t go to Goa. How can he lie through his teeth?
– I swear I didn’t go to any Goa! Shit!
There goes all the booze. It was a whole carton of beers. He filled his books’ bag
with beer. I’m sorry I lied, ma’am.
– Shut up and get out of my sight. Had he not broken those beer bottles,
we both would’ve had them. By beer bottles I’m reminded of the free booze
we distributed among all the villagers. Had boozing been a sport,
these guys would’ve be champions. I distributed a carton of beers for every 2-3 guys.
– Are we left with anymore cartons? Don’t talk so naively! You think these guys
would’ve spared any? They didn’t even spare one for me. Yeah, right. No one spares booze.
– I envy you guys. You bought yourself a fridge, your uncle some gold
and that guy went to party in Goa. All you guys have benefited but me.
People have become wise. They take freebies from every candidate
but vote for the candidate of their choice. We politicians are to be blamed
for all this mess. We got people addicted to freebies. How I wish elections are held every two years
and not once in 5 years. You people love freebies so much, don’t you?
– Who doesn’t, ma’am? No wonder cash for votes is considered a sin.
– We wouldn’t have even got 100 votes without cash. So, what do you say we do now?
– Nothing. I’ll handle my business and you your job. What nonsense. There are MPTC elections
in 2 months. You got to contest! You’re hell bent on turning me into a pauper.
I already lost Rs. 50 lakhs and you want me to lose more? No! People will now have sympathy for you.
If you contest, everyone will vote for you. I don’t feel that way.
I feel you are trying to prank the hell out of me! Let’s give it another shot, ma’am.
I promise we’ll win this time. Alright. Go find a buyer for my house.
If we win, we’ll be Kings, else we’ll go penniless. Alright. I’ll right away go look for buyers.
– Also, get me some water. I’m too thirsty. Shall I get water in an earthen pot or in a vessel?
– Screw you, idiot! I dare you not to talk about pots
and vessels again. Else, I’ll skin you alive. Never knew an earthen pot
would make me lose Rs. 50 lakhs. Greetings, people!
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