L.A. Teachers’ Strike, the Egg That Broke Instagram & China’s Historic Moon Landing | The Daily Show
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L.A. Teachers’ Strike, the Egg That Broke Instagram & China’s Historic Moon Landing | The Daily Show

Teaching– it’s not an easy job, unless you’re a gym teacher, because then,
you’re allowed to hit the kids. (laughter) I mean, yeah,
they call it “dodgeball,” but we all know the truth. Anyway, too often, educators in America
are not compensated fairly, which is why this happens. Tens of thousands of teachers
in Los Angeles are expected to strike this morning in the nation’s
second largest school district. Educators are demanding
more counselors and librarians, plus a full-time nurse
in every school, in addition
to salary negotiations. Talks broke down Friday
and were not renewed over the weekend. That’s right.
Teachers in the nation’s second largest school district
are striking. So if you’re in L.A., expect to hear some
grammatically-correct chants. “What do we want?”
“More pay!” “From whom do we want said pay?” (laughter) “One at a time.
Please raise your hands.” (laughter) Now I’m not gonna lie.
I’m not gonna lie. It’s hard not to be on the
teachers’ side in this dispute, firstly, because I don’t think
teachers ever get paid enough. And secondly,
they’re also asking for more school counselors
and one nurse per school. That’s like the most reasonable
list of demands I’ve ever heard. Like, I wish bank robbers
were this reasonable. It’ll be like, “I’m not gonna
release the hostages “until you open up
another teller window. “And also, I want the chain
on the pen to be long enough “to reach the thing
I’m trying to write on. Just a long enough chain!” “Not a chance. Not a chance. Kill some hostages,
then we’ll talk.” (laughter) Moving on–
some news on Instagram. It’s where anyone
can be a model, you know? All you need is an ass
and a dream. And now,
there’s a new Instastar. For nearly a year,
Kylie Jenner has held the record for the most liked photo
on Instagram. It was this one here, the first
photo of her daughter Stormi. It’s been liked
a whopping 18 million times. Many thought
that could never be topped, but that was before
World Record Egg. An account with that very name
posted this single photo. It’s a picture of an egg. The caption reads, “Let’s set
a world record together and get the most-liked post
on Instagram.” Well, social media users
accepted that challenge. The egg not only beat
Jenner’s record of 18 million. It crushed it. The egg currently has
26 million likes and counting. The egg has 26 million likes
and counting. Bow down to your new queen. (laughter) This is egg-citing. This egg is so popular,
they actually just announced that it’s going
to be hosting the Oscars. Yeah,
which I’m really happy about, because they’ve never had an egg
before, and if you… Oh, sorry. Hold-hold on. Sorry. Oh. Sorry. I’m being told the egg has been fired
from hosting the Oscars. Apparently, they just found
the egg’s old tweets. -(laughter)
-Really, really sad. So, congratulations, egg. You are the new champion
of social media. I hope you enjoy your time
at the top, because soon, you will find out
that Instagram fame is… over easy. (laughter) Moving on to some news
from China. They’ve not been having
a good time recently, right? Their economy is in trouble. Their infrastructure
is crumbling. And their generals haven’t
invented a new chicken recipe in, like, 50 years. But over the weekend,
they got some good news that sent them over the moon. China has landed a spacecraft
on the dark side of the moon, and now,
we’re all getting a chance to see what it looks like. He’s part of a 12-minute video that the Chinese National Space
Administration released. It will study the moon’s terrain
while it’s there and bring back samples
here to earth. That’s right. China just became
the first nation to land
on the dark side of the moon. And this is a big deal because
this is the side of the moon that we never get to see,
all right? Unless you give it a few drinks
and bring up its ex-wife. And then,
the moon gets dark real quick. And I know… I know it may be
a difficult concept to grasp, but basically, right, because
of the way the moon rotates as it circles the planet,
there’s a whole side of the moon that we’ve never seen
from Earth, all right? It’s like the left side
of Mariah Carey’s face. -(laughter)
-Yeah? It’s never facing us. We don’t know
what’s on the other side. (laughter) So, the question…
the question now is… what will China find? Everyone wants
to know what’s there. My guess is,
the far side of the moon is where
they hide the movie set where they faked
the original moon landing. -(laughter, groaning)
-Think about it. All right, and finally, big news
from the world of sports. The Saints, the Rams,
the Chiefs and the Patriots are all moving on
to the conference championships. And while these teams
are moving on, Chicago is stuck in the past. Chicago, still reeling. You saw the game from
Cody Parkey’s missed field goal. Yeah, in last week’s
Bears-Eagles playoff game. That knocked Chicago out
of the playoffs. So much, in fact, that a Chicago brewery sponsored
“The Parkey Challenge,” where 101 people lined up
and attempted a 43-yard field goal. MAN: Fan after fan continued
to try to kick their way for a successful field goal. Many of them falling down or kicking the stand
in the process. (audience groaning) Whoever came up with this idea
is a genius. (laughter) Yeah. No. You know why?
You know why? Because sports fans always act like they could have won the
game, right, when they’re barely
winning in life. People sitting at home, like,
“You idiot! “You should have passed the ball
earlier, goddamn it! Oh, Mom, my hand is stuck
in the Pringles can again.” (laughter) I think we should do this
for everything. Everyone that has too much of
this when they don’t do the job, be like, “Oh, that pilot’s
landing was horrible.” “All right, Sully, why don’t you
take the controls?” “No. If I was Thor, I would
have gotten Thanos in the head!” “Well, it’s funny you say that, “because Thanos
is outside right now. Uh, why don’t you take
that ax and prove it.” “Oh, I would, but my hand
is stuck in this Pringles can.” But easily, easily,
my favorite attempted field goal was this one. AUDIENCE:
Oh! (laughter) Oh, man. The bright yellow vest was not
the protection that man needed. And now his balls have
a concussion.

100 thoughts on “L.A. Teachers’ Strike, the Egg That Broke Instagram & China’s Historic Moon Landing | The Daily Show

  1. 3:27 IF, and that's a Really big IF, its the Dark Side of The Moon, then why is it all lit up ?????????

    It would only be lit up from the landing rockets and it would only be lighting up the underside!
    Not the entire surface!!!

    To be on the dark side means its FUCKING DARK!!

  2. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Noah you crazy. lol "and now his balls have a concussion" hahahahahahahaha

  3. Teachers are very unpaid I, live in Los Angeles and for a fact schools are need of repair , classes are over crowded and children in middle school have out dated computers. Forbide your child gets sick or injured. Over due. Teachers make less than Waste Management Drivers. Give what they want. Prayd

  4. A change of heart. Noah, you started to punch down. Punching up is ok, punching down, not so. Seems you are slowly forgetting your roots and your views.

  5. I’m sorry no. If you get a base salary of 9 million dollars to kick that ball, then you need to be able to kick that ball -_-
    I’m still salty

  6. How have I NOT seen a Mulan "I'll Make a Man Out of You" reference in these comments? If I wasn't so proud of all the wholesome comments full of love and happiness, I'd be disappointed.

  7. Teachers where I live get paid 20k (roughly converted from Rands to Dollars) a year, teachers handle all sorts of hardheads & misfits in school. They are indeed underpaid.

  8. 5:55 in my opinion, Thor likely missed due to stress from the things that had happened and the 50 or so meters between them (plus Thanos's blasting probably redirected it

  9. My school needs more counselors. The beginning of the year is absolutely hell for them because of college applications.

  10. I was shocked when my history teacher told us that in South Dakota, it is illegal for teachers to go on strike. What makes it worse is hearing my teachers (who are amazing and kind) casually talk about having some of the lowest salaries in the nation.

  11. Really!!! You are getting like what 64$$$ths….wow really when in Florida is 40ths…with less benefits and crowds classroom

  12. Next thing we know, they will be auctioning off that egg… I bet it's the owners best prized possession now…

  13. I had to skip the news and go straight to the egg. Didnt even finish the video… Those goverment cover ups are getting better and better

  14. Noah you're an a$$ but i like you 😂😂👏👏 tell the french manifests "the yellow vest won't help

  15. Reused: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgPJqCJWxaA&feature=youtu.be&t=1138 in the current video: 4:42 :/

  16. Damn. where did trevor got this pic of teacher of 9th -12 graders. It seems like the teacher wearing tight (petite size) long sleeve suit shirt to get attention of Students If i was an 11th grade student, i would definitely get aroused and would want to f**k her and i would even ask her for it, the way she is presenting herself, is eye opening.

  17. 2:10 EGG has 26 million retards who worships EGG! Wow!!! Chicken Hen, you must be proud to hatch that egg.. Where is the fucking chicken hen who hatched that egg damn it!!!!???? They should give her a GOLD MEDAL!! WHY NO ONE GIVES LIKE TO THE HEN?

  18. Be a man

    You must be swift as a coursing river

    Be a man

    With all the force of a great typhoon

    Be a man

    With all the strength of a raging fire

    Mysterious as the darkside of the MOOOOON

  19. My school the nurse is literally one of the people in the office and it's the person who has to sign you in. Not exactly nurse worthy

  20. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    No its not // and i was lile yeah keep at it if your serious …ill be there // rmyhe reason yall lrotest never work cause like all the others , yall don't stick with it / that was all of a week

  21. ALL BILLIONAIRES ARE DOING A TERRIBLE JOB!!! Wait, what? You want me to…? Oh, I don't know about… Can I hire someone to take this Pringle's can off?

  22. Both my parents are teachers is the LAUSD school district and my whole family went on strike. My aunt is also a teacher, and 3 of the 8 cousins went to strike with our family (the youngest 3).

  23. So nobody would be scared that maybe the dark side of the moon has like alienistic creatures that eat ppl yes I watch too many sci-fi films

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