Jon Stewart To The Media: It’s Time To Get Your Groove Back
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Jon Stewart To The Media: It’s Time To Get Your Groove Back


( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪>>Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY! SAY HI TO JON BATISTE AND “STAY
HUMAN”! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COME ON! YOU KNOW, FOLKS, LADIES AND
GENTLEMEN, A LITTLE EARLIER IN THE SHOW, STANDING OVER THERE, I
WAS TALKING TO YOU ABOUT DONALD TRUMP’S HOSTILE RELATIONSHIP
WITH THE MEDIA. IT HIT A NEW LOW FRIDAY WHEN AT
AN INFORMING PRESS BRIEFING, SEAN SPICER BANNED REPORTERS
FROM CNN, THE NEW YORK TIMES, POLITICO, THE LOS ANGELES TIMES
AND BUZZFEED. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>Stephen: IT’S UPSETTING, BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
BuzzFeed WAS EXCLUDED BECAUSE SPICER DIDN’T LIKE THE
ANSWER HE GOT FOR “WHICH GILMORE GIRL ARE YOU.” ( LAUGHTER )
SUCH A LORELEI! AND THIS CAME ONLY A FEW HOURS
AFTER TRUMP SAID THIS –>>I LOVE THE FIRST AMENDMENT. NOBODY KNOWS LOVES IT BETTER
THAN ME.>>Stephen: YEAH. IT’S LIKE THEY SAY — IF YOU
LOVE THE FIRST AMENDMENT, SET IT FREE. IF IT COMES BACK, DON’T LET IT
IN THE PRESS BRIEFING. AND THE ROOT OF ALL THIS IS THAT
TRUMP CALLS ANY STORY HE DOESN’T LIKE “FAKE NEWS.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>I MEAN, THE WHOLE THING IS JUST — JUST —
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: HEY! IT’S JON STEWART, EVERYBODY! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEY JON, GREAT TO SEE YOU.>>NICE TO SEE YOU AS WELL. HOW DID YOU GET UNDER MY
DESK?>>I HAD A TUNNEL BUILT STRAIGHT
FROM THE FARM.>>STEPHEN: YOU CAME HERE FROM
THE FARM?>>RIGHT FROM THE FARM.>>Stephen: YOU DO YOUR
FARMING IN MAKEUP AND A TIE?>>I LIKE TO LOOK NICE. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: JOHN — HMM?>>Stephen: YOU MISS IT, DON’T
YOU?>>YES, I MISS IT! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>I SPEND THE WHOLE DAY YELLING ABOUT TRUMP TO THE ANIMALS. ( LAUGHTER )
WE HAVE A BARN SPIDER, DON’T KNOW THE NAME, WOVE “PLEASE GET
A JOB” INTO A WEB!>>STEPHEN: JON, IF YOU NEED TO
GET AWAY FROM THE FARM, YOU’RE ALWAYS WELCOME HERE. WE HAVE A CHAIR RIGHT HERE. THERE YOU GO.>>OH, THIS IS NICE! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I LIKE THIS. IT’S A LITTLE TIGHT. A LILT TIGHT.>>Stephen: YES, IT IS. SO, JON. JON, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
TRUMP BANNING THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA
FROM THAT BRIEFING AND HIM NOT GOING TO THE CORRESPONDENT’S
DINNER?>>I CAN’T BELIEVE THE GUY’S GOT
THE BALLS TO GET AWAY WITH THAT. TRUMP LIES MORE IN ONE PRESS
CONFERENCE THAN CNN DOES IN A YEAR, AND THAT’S COMING FROM A
GUY WHO HATES CNN. ( LAUGHTER )
LOOK AT THIS.>>GOT 306 ELECTORAL COLLEGE
VOTES. I GUESS IT WAS THE BIGGEST
ELECTORAL COLLEGE WIN SINCE RONALD REAGAN.>>YOU GUESS WRONG! ( LAUGHTER )
IT WAS SMALLER THAN BOTH OF BARACK OBAMA’S WINS AND BILL
CLINTON AND GEORGE H.W. BUSH. IT’S THE BIGGEST WIN SINCE
REAGAN IF YOU DON’T COUNT EVERYONE SINCE REAGAN. BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS?>>THE MURDER RATE IN OUR
COUNTRY IS THE HIGHEST IT HAS BEEN IN 47 YEARS. DID YOU KNOW THAT? 47 YEARS. I’D SAY THAT IN A SPEECH AND
EVERYBODY WAS SURPRISED BECAUSE THE PRESS DOESN’T TELL IT LIKE
IT IS.>>NO. THEY WERE SURPRISED BECAUSE IT’S
NOT TRUE! IT’S NEAR THE LOWEST IT’S BEEN
IN 45 YEARS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
AND THEN THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE. YOU’VE GOT TO SEE THIS ONE.>>BOMB THREATS HAVE BEEN MADE
AGAINST JEWISH CENTERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY IN THE LAST
COUPLE OF WEEKS. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE
COMMITTING ANTISEMITIC ACTS OR THREATENING TO —
>>YOU SEE, HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO ASK A VERY SIMPLE EASY
QUESTION. AND ITS NOT. IT’S NOT. NOT A SIMPLE QUESTION, NOT A
FAIR QUESTION. OKAY, SIT DOWN. I UNDERSTAND THE REST OF YOUR
QUESTION. SO HERE’S THE STORY FOLKS,
NUMBER ONE, I AM THE LEAST ANTI-SEMITIC PERSON YOU’VE EVER
SEEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. ( LAUGHTER )
>>I DON’T THINK THAT’S TRUE! ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) HE SAID THAT TO A GUY WEARING A
YAMAKA! DONALD, YOU’RE NOT EVEN THE
LEAST ANTI-SEMITIC PERSON IN THAT
CLIP WE SHOWED!>>Stephen: JON, THE PRESIDENT
EXAGGERATES, BUT YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY KNOW HE’S LYING ON
PURPOSE.>>STEPHEN, YOU CAN!>>Stephen: HOW? BECAUSE HE CONSTANTLY SAYS
THE PHRASE “BELIEVE ME.” NOBODY SAYS “BELIEVE ME” UNLESS
THEY’RE LYING. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: CAN YOU MIGH GIVE ME EXAMPLE?>>HONEY, I WAS JUST HELPING
STACY TEST OUT HER PERFECT SLEEP NUMBER, BELIEVE ME. WHAT? NO, IT’S JUST A GIANT WOODEN
HORSE. BELIEVE ME. WHAT? DEMOCRATS IN DISARRAY? NO, THEY HAVE A PLAN. BELIEVE ME. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>STEPHEN: C’MON, HE DOESN’T SAY BELIEVE ME THAT OFTEN.>>ROLL 212.>>BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME
OK, BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME FOLKS. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME. BELIEVE ME, BE-LIEVE ME. BUH-LIEVE ME.>>BUH-BULL( BLEEP ). ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )>>BUH-BULL( BLEEP ).>>STEPHEN: SO YOU AGREE WITH ME
THAT BANNING THE PRESS IS UNAMERICAN?>>AW, IT’S UNAMERICAN NOT TO
LIKE US! I SAY, STOP YOUR WHINING. I’D LIKE TO TALK TO THE MEDIA
FOR A SECOND.>>Stephen: SURE, GO AHEAD. WHICH CAMERA GOES TO THE
MEDIA.>>Stephen: THAT ONE. ( LAUGHTER )
>>HEY, MEDIA. I HEARD DONALD BROKE UP WITH
YOU. STINGS A LITTLE. YOU FINALLY THOUGHT YOU’D MET
YOUR PERFECT MATCH. A BLABBER-MOUTH WHO’S AS
THIN-SKINNED AND NARCISSISTIC AS YOU ARE. ( AUDIENCE REACTS )
( LAUGHTER ) NOW IT’S OVER! WELL, GOOD RIDDANCE. I SAY —
KICK — HIM —
TO — THE —
CURB. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF )>>THANK YOU. IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO GET YOUR
GROOVE BACK, MEDIA. BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, YOU KIND OF
LET YOURSELF GO A LITTLE BIT THESE PAST FEW YEARS. YOU PUT ON A FEW PUNDITS. OBSESSING, 24 HOURS A DAY, SEVEN
DAYS A WEEK, ABOUT THIS ONE GUY. “WHAT’S DONNY UP TO? DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT US? YOU THINK HE’S GONNA COME ON? DO YOU THINK HE LIKES US? HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO COME
HIMSELF. HE CAN JUST CALL IN! DONNY, PLEASE! JUST LET US KNOW YOU’RE OKAY!”
( LAUGHTER ) AND THE WHOLE TIME YOU’RE ALL
CHASING AFTER HIM, THE REST OF US ARE THINKING, “BUT CAN’T
YOU SEE HE’S AN ( BLEEP )?” ( LAUGHTER )
NO, YOU TRY TO DEFEND HIM! “OH, NO, NO, THAT’S JUST
PRIMARIES DONALD. THAT’S JUST ELECTION DONALD. YOU’LL SEE. WE CAN CHANGE HIM! HE’LL GET PRESIDENTIAL!”
YEAH, HOW’D THAT WORK OUT? IT DIDN’T. YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE 70-YEAR-OLD MEN DON’T
GET LESS CRANKY OR RACIST AS TIME GOES BY —
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) UNLESS THEY HAPPEN TO BE VISITED
BY THREE SPIRITS IN THE NIGHT. ( LAUGHTER )
LOOK, MEDIA, I’M NOT SAYING THE BREAK UP IS
GOING TO BE EASY. YOU’RE GOING TO SEE YOUR EX
SWIPING FAR RIGHT WITH EVERY TOM, DRUDGE, AND BREITBART. AND THEY DO ( BLEEP ). ER( AUDIENCE REACTS )
>>STEPHEN: JON, WE’RE ON CBS. IN MY DEFENSE, THEY DO
(BLEEP)! DID I GET US CANCELED?>>Stephen: US? ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT HERE’S MY POINT, MEDIA —
THIS BREAKUP HAS GIVEN YOU AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY FOR
SELF-REFLECTION AND IMPROVEMENT. INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT
WHETHER TRUMP IS UNAMERICAN OR IF HE THINKS YOU’RE THE ENEMY
OR IF HE’S BEING MEAN TO YOU OR IF HE’S GOING TO LET YOU BACK IN
THE BRIEFINGS, DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF. TAKE UP A HOBBY. I RECOMMEND JOURNALISM. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) I THINK THIS BREAKUP IS GOING TO
BE THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.>>STEPHEN: YOU REALLY THINK THE
MEDIA IS GOING TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SELF-EXAMINE AND
THEN GET BETTER AT THEIR JOB?>>I REALLY DO. BELIEVE ME. ( LAUGHTER )
>>STEPHEN: JON STEWART, EVERYONE! ♪
WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH CONNIE BRITTON.

100 thoughts on “Jon Stewart To The Media: It’s Time To Get Your Groove Back

  1. Anytime a group of the largest corporate media and entertainment outlets and the entire actively employed hollywood go out of their ways to demonize and blow out of proportion someone's every breath, one should not assume he's a saint, but instead that he's onto something they're afraid of.

  2. The media created this monster, now they have the audacity to act like they hate him. Corporate news media always on a quest for ratings

  3. beLIEve me ! 45 has laid off that line since this aired. His "No one loves ______ more than I do, believe me." line, has been shortened to: "No one loves _____ more than I do."😂😂😂😂
    JSTEW nailed this! The media have lost their damn mind.

  4. This is where I get my news and my laughs, with Steven Colbert and with Trevor Noah. They cut through the bullshit with sharp humour.

  5. Mainstream media do push fake news. Trump is terrible, but that doesn't make CNN, NYT or Buzzfeed legitimate information sources.
    All the talk about refugees and no mention of how the previous administration created the situations the refugees are fleeing from.
    The biggest difference between Trump and other presidents is that he ended wars without starting new ones.
    Is that why the 'anti-war' progressives hate him so much?

  6. Yes! What would happen if…, no news people showed up at the next, trump news briefing and/or white house briefing. lol…LOL!!

  7. it will never happen. Because as G.W. Friedrich Hegel once said, "never let a good crisis go to waste." But thanks John Stewart, i'm hoping you do come back more often.

  8. I wished that Jon Stewart would visit me. 😉

    I tried to count how many times that Trump said "Believe Me!" and I think that I ran out of fingers and toes!😄

  9. Under Colbert's desk, there are stairs leading to a secret bunker that Jon Stewart has been living in for years, waiting, watching….
    for the time when America's insanity reaches its peak

  10. Why does John Batiste always make those weird high pitched wining sounds when they’re coming back from commercial?

  11. I miss you so much Jon Stewart❤️I wish you would get a new show! You always could explain everything so well and when someone came to your show spewing lies – you could debate them eloquently and show they were full of crap. Man. I miss that.

  12. There are wonderful talents still like Jon Stewart but it's fair to say everybody in the world hates America for Trump in a daily conversation. How can Americans listen to what Trump's saying without laughing letting alone making him the president? Wow

  13. Jon Stewart can come over to my house to compare notes over coffee anytime about Trump. I feel the same way.

  14. Jon popping out from under Stephen's desk and the piano riff afterward oddly reminded me of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood…

  15. Watching this clip, and then this clip, gives us an understanding of how damn decent Jon Stewart is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HT5FTrIZN-E

  16. Hey, Media, you need to get over your breakup with Donnie. Do something for yourself. Take up a hobby. I recommend … Journalism!

  17. "The democrats in disarray? No, they have a plan!!! Believe me."

    Oh Jon…your foreshadowing is unassailable…

  18. This is the strength of America. Even when the country has the worst president, they find a way to live positively with a great talent. Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert rock.

  19. Refreshing to see Jon sticking it to the media as much as he's sticking it to Trump. Stick of only hearing Trump bashed when he's not the only problem.

  20. This is GREAT! LOVE TO SEE STEWART! I hope Stewart will make appearances on Colbert's show often! Stewart & Colbert make a great comedy team exposing trump's numerous lies.

  21. This is the kind of chemistry you find once in a lifetime. Whatever pursuit you have in whatever industry, you'll have exactly one chance with one person to form a bond this strong and this tight. I'm lucky to have found it in my business partner for Game Development. Many creatives go their ENTIRE LIVES without ever finding it.

    What you're watching on screen is a match made in Entertainment heaven.

  22. Donald Trump's grave will look a lot like a grease trough outside a shitty fast food joint in North Carolina. Except instead of being full of old fry-grease and burger fat, it will be filled with a mixture of what resembles rendered and solidified pork fat mixed with year-old baked beans, Cheetos and racism.

  23. These two are amazing. They are each so insightful, and well spoken that you can't help but take what they say to heart. I wish actual politicians could argue as well and as decently as these two.

  24. Jon has good delivery and a awesome style but the left is intentionaly blind to what the right says and this affects their comedy

  25. I think Jon just rents space under Stephen’s desk. It’s like a little college dorm room with a mini fridge, microwave, and a little cot.

  26. Am I the only one that asked, "What were you doing under that desk for so long?" The tunnel was a fun explanation, but still. 🙂

    The last few minutes were great. Humor aside, they need to stop screwing around purely for ratings and do their job of keeping us informed, not programmed.

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