In Your Facebook: What’s Obama’s Last Name?
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In Your Facebook: What’s Obama’s Last Name?


– HOW MANY OF Y’ALL
ARE ON FACEBOOK HERE? PEOPLE–ALL RIGHT. [cheers and applause] WELL, A LOT OF TIMES
PEOPLE POST THINGS THAT ARE REALLY, REALLY FUNNY, AND–WHETHER THEY MEAN TO BE
OR NOT– SO I THOUGHT I’D SHOW YOU SOME. IT’S A SEGMENT WE CALL
IN YOUR FACEBOOK. [laughter] – [singing] ONE, TWO, THREE [funky music] [scattered laughter] – ALL RIGHT, SO THESE ARE
REAL FACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES AND COMMENTS– REAL–
WE’RE NOT MAKING THEM UP. SARAH SAYS,
“I THINK ABOUT HIM 31-7 BECAUSE HE’S ON MY MIND
EVEN WHEN I’M SLEEPING.” AND… [laughter] KEVIN SAYS, “THERE’S STILL
24 HOURS IN A DAY WHEN YOU’RE SLEEPING.” [laughter] SARAH SAYS, “WAIT. WHAT?” [laughter] MARK SAYS, “WHAT DOES BRB MEAN?” AND ABBY SAYS, “BE RIGHT BACK.” MARK SAYS, “OKAY,
WILL YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU COME BACK?” [laughter] SKY SAYS,
“WHAT’S OBAMA’S LAST NAME?” DEVIN SAYS, “OBAMA.” SKY SAYS,
“YEAH, WHAT’S HIS LAST NAME?” [laughter and applause] WOW. CORRE SAYS, “STUPID TRAFFIC,
GO HOME.” AND HUNTER SAYS, “I THINK THAT’S
WHAT THEY’RE TRYING TO DO.” [laughter] LIZ D’ONOFRIO SAYS, “I JUST ANSWERED
AN UNKNOWN NUMBER “BECAUSE I ACTUALLY THOUGHT
IT MIGHT BE ELLEN DEGENERES. I NEVER, EVER WANT TO MISS
THAT CALL.” [laughter] I WANT TO SEE
IF SHE REALLY MEANS IT. [audience exclaims] [cheers and applause] I NEVER WANT TO LOSE THIS PHONE,
NO MATTER HOW OLD IT GETS. [laughter] [line trilling] – HELLO. – LIZ?
– UH-HUH. – HEY, LIZ,
DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS? – UH, NO, I DON’T. – I’LL GIVE YOU A HINT. IT’S ELLEN DEGENERES. [laughter] – [gasps]
OH, MY GOD. – HI. – WAIT. WAIT. IS THIS– IS THIS REALLY–
IS THIS REALLY ELLEN? – HUH? – YOU–YOU’RE REALLY
CALLING ME RIGHT NOW? – I REALLY AM. WEREN’T YOU EXPECTING ME
TO CALL? – OH, MY GOD! – THE REASON– – THIS IS SO COOL. – ISN’T THIS GREAT? YEAH, I JUST SAW
THAT YOU SAID THAT ON FACEBOOK, YOU ANSWERED AN UNKNOWN CALL BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
IT MIGHT BE ME, SO I WANTED TO SEE
IF YOU REALLY MEANT IT AND YOU WOULD ANSWER
AN UNKNOWN CALL. – I COMPLETELY MEANT IT. – YEAH. ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW? – UM, I’M AT WORK RIGHT NOW. – OH.
WHERE DO YOU WORK? WHAT DO YOU DO? – I WORK AT THE CHILDREN’S ROOM
IN ARLINGTON, MASSACHUSETTS. WE OFFER SUPPORT GROUPS FOR GRIEVING CHILDREN
AND THEIR FAMILIES. – OH, WELL, THAT’S
A WONDERFUL THING, LIZ. GOOD FOR YOU.
– WELL, WELL, THANK YOU. YEAH, I MEAN, I JUST STARTED
HERE DOING SOCIAL WORK. SO WE HAVE SUPPORT GROUPS
THAT WE RUN AT NIGHT. – AH, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN– I’M SO GLAD I CALLED YOU. WELL, ONE THING–
– THANK YOU. – I WANT TO BRING YOU OUT HERE. I WANT YOU TO COME TO THE SHOW,
AND I WANT TO MEET YOU. AND…
– OH, MY GOD. – SO DO THAT.
– WAIT. WAIT. REALLY? – YEAH, OF COURSE.
OF COURSE. I WAS ACTUALLY CALLING YOU
FOR SOMETHING ELSE, BUT NOW THAT I TALKED TO YOU,
I WANT YOU TO COME TO THE SHOW. I WAS CALLING TO SEE
IF YOU BOUGHT MY NEW CD YET. ELLEN’S “I’M GONNA MAKE YOU
DANCE JAMS,” HAVE YOU BOUGHT THAT YET? – I DID.
I DID BUY IT. I BOUGHT IT A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
– OH, I’M SO GLAD. I WAS GONNA SEND YOU A COPY,
BUT I’LL SEND YOU– SO YOU’LL HAVE TWO. YOU’LL HAVE ONE FOR YOUR CAR
AND ONE FOR, UH, YOUR HOUSE. AND…
– THAT IS PERFECT. – THAT’S WHAT
I WAS ACTUALLY CALLING FOR, BUT NOW I’M GONNA MEET YOU. YOU’LL COME TO THE SHOW
WHENEVER– WHEN I HANG UP,
A PRODUCER WILL CALL YOU BACK, AND WE’LL ARRANGE IT, OKAY? I MEAN, YOU– – OH, MY GOD,
THIS IS SO AMAZING! – YOU HAVE TO GET YOURSELF
OUT HERE. I’M NOT FLYING YOU OUT, BUT– – I CAN’T BELIEVE
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. THIS IS LIKE THE CRAZIEST DAY
OF MY LIFE. – NO, I’M KIDDING. WE’RE GONNA FLY YOU OUT
AND PUT YOU UP AND… SO, ALL RIGHT, SO, LIZ,
I’LL MEET YOU SOON, OKAY? – OKAY, GREAT.
THANK YOU. – ALL RIGHT, THANKS
FOR ANSWERING THE PHONE. – OKAY. ANYTIME.
– ALL RIGHT, BYE. – OKAY.
– ALL RIGHT. [cheers and applause] THAT’S GREAT. [applause continues] I WAS CALLING TO TELL HER
ABOUT MY NEW CD. IT’S IN STORES NOW, AND EVERYBODY IN THE AUDIENCE IS GOING HOME
WITH A COPY AS WELL. [cheers and applause] WE’LL BE BACK.

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