I Found It on Facebook
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I Found It on Facebook


– YOU’RE EXCITED TO BE HERE, AND YOU SHOULD BE,
SOME OF YOU MORE THAN OTHERS. BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU
WHAT I DID BEFORE THE SHOW. I HAD BREAKFAST
AND THEN I EXERCISED AND THEN I DROVE TO WORK
AND THEN I GOT TO WORK AND THEN I GOT OUT OF MY CAR
AND THEN I WALKED TO MY OFFICE AND THEN I HAD
A LITTLE MORE BREAKFAST– JUST A LITTLE BIT. IT WASN’T ENOUGH
TO CALL IT A BRUNCH. IT WAS MORE–
IT WAS JUST BREAKFAST. AND THEN–AND THIS IS THE PART
THAT YOU’RE GONNA LIKE. I WENT THROUGH
YOUR FACEBOOK PAGES AND, BOY, YOU POST SOME
INTERESTING STUFF, Y’ALL DO. AND THEN
I ROLLED THIS TV OUT HERE SO THAT I COULD SHOW PICTURES
TO MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THAT ARE WATCHING
FROM AROUND THE WORLD. ISN’T THAT A GOOD IDEA? SO SCOTT GOMES?
WHERE’S– IS IT– HI, SCOTT. HI.
[cheers and applause] AM I PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY?
– YES. – GOMES?
– YES, THAT’S CORRECT. OKAY, SCOTT, WHERE DO YOU LIVE? WHAT DO YOU DO? – I LIVE IN SAN DIEGO,
CALIFORNIA, AND I–I’M A BARBACK. – OKAY. WONDERFUL. WHAT KIND OF PICTURES
DO YOU LIKE TO POST NORMALLY? ALL KINDS? – YES.
– OKAY. ALL RIGHT. HERE’S ONE I FOUND
THAT I WAS GONNA SHOW, AND– [laughter] SCOTT… WE CAN SEE YOUR MONKEY. [laughter] – THAT’S FOR WORK. – YOUR MONKEY IS SHOWING. EXPLAIN IT. TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON. – IT WAS JUST A– IT WAS THEME NIGHT FOR WORK.
– MM-HMM. MONKEY NIGHT? – IT WAS SPECIAL NIGHT
THAT YOU DRESS UP IN DIFFERENT CRAZY OUTFITS
THAT THEY DO. – OKAY, AND YOU SAID, “I’M GONNA
PUT A MONKEY IN MY PANTS.” [laughter] – I WAS GOING TO AN EXTREME,
SO– – AND DID PEOPLE APPRECIATE
SEEING THE MONKEY IN YOUR PANTS? – UH, YES. [laughter] – GREAT. ALL RIGHT, WELL,
THANKS FOR POSTING THAT. THAT WAS WONDERFUL. MELISSA MONTEZ?
MON–HI, MELISSA. – HI.
– HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE THAT? – MELISSA. MONTEZ. [laughter] – MELISS-UH.
SO THERE’S AN– [laughter]
– MELISSA. – I WAS GONNA GO MILL-ISSA,
BUT IT’S MELISS-UH. ALL RIGHT. HERE’S A PICTURE
THAT YOU POSTED. LET’S SHARE THIS. – OH, MY–
[laughter, crowd cheers] AND I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU, BECAUSE I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT I COULD WEAR HIGH HEELS
WITH MY DAISY DUKES, SO I WAS ALWAYS–
THAT WAS AN IFFY THING FOR ME. AND YOU HAVE A STICKER,
SO THAT–I DON’T KNOW. IS THAT A TWO FOR ONE
STICKER OR– WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THAT? WHAT’S THE STICKER? – LITTLE SUNDAYS. IT’S A POOL PARTY THAT MY FRIENDS HAVE
EVERY SUMMER THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER. SO IT’S A CHEAPER VERSION
OF REHAB IN L.A. – OH, REHAB MEANING LIKE A CLUB. OKAY.
– THE POOL PARTIES. – YES, ALL RIGHT. AND–
[laughter] NOT REHAB LIKE– ‘CAUSE YOU WOULDN’T–
ANYWAY. [laughter] OR THAT’S THE LAZIEST REHAB
PLACE I’VE EVER SEEN. ALL RIGHT, MELISSA. DIANA CHAVEZ-FIPO?
I’M SORRY ABOUT THESE NAMES. FIPO?
HI. HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE
THAT LAST NAME? – CHAVEZ-FIPLE.
– FIPLE. OKAY. AND YOU LIKE TO PARTY. THAT’S MY ASSUMPTION OF YOU. – I’M WITH MY KIDS.
I DON’T DO THAT. – OH.
[laughter] WELL, KIDS, CLOSE YOUR EYES. [laughter] KIDS, MOMMY’S
PLAYING THE FRENCH HORN. THAT IS– FILLED WITH BEER. [laughter] WHERE IS MICHELLE RILEY? MICHELLE? DON’T BE ASHAMED. HI. OH, YOU’RE RAISING YOUR HAND
FOR HER. SHE WOULDN’T RAISE IT. – HI.
– HI, MICHELLE, HOW ARE YOU? – I’M GOOD.
– GREAT, GREAT. YOU SCARED?
– YEAH. [laughter] – IT’S NOT YOU
THAT I’M GONNA FOCUS ON. YOU TOOK THIS PICTURE, AND I’M JUST WONDERING
WHERE YOU TOOK IT. [laughter] – BURBANK.
– NO, IT WAS– – NO, NO, THE CASTRO. – WHERE IS THIS?
– IN SAN FRANCISCO. – IN SAN FRANCISCO.
– YEAH. – IN THE CASTRO. – JUST SOMEONE
WALKING DOWN THE STREET? – YEP.
– WOW. THERE’S A SIGN
THAT SAYS “NO PARKING.” THEY NEED
MORE SIGNS UP ON THAT STREET. [laughter] PEOPLE NEED MORE DIRECTION,
CLEARLY. BUT HE’S WEARING SHOES,
AND HE’S WEARING A HAT AND SOME TYPE
OF A LITTLE FANNY PACK, BUT HE’S NOT– AND THEN I THINK I SEE A MONKEY. [laughter] YOU SEE HIS– HIS MONKEY IS RIGHT THERE. [cheers and applause] IT’S NOT ME. IT’S OTHER PEOPLE
THAT SHOULD KNOW WHAT THAT IS. ALL RIGHT, WELL,
I WANT YOU TO KEEP POSTING. I’M GONNA ENCOURAGE YOU
TO DO THAT, SO IF I SHOWED
YOUR PICTURE TODAY, YOU’RE GETTING AN H.P.
SPLIT LAPTOP, ALL OF YOU. [cheers and applause] THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EVERYBODY,
AND NOW WE SHALL DANCE!

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