Facebook’s Algorithm is Like the Mafia
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Facebook’s Algorithm is Like the Mafia

(ticking) (sigh) – I guess I’ll check Facebook? (door opening) – Well, well, well. – Knock, knock. – [Man In White Hat] Looks like somebody’s checking Facebook, huh? – Oh my God, it’s the Facebook algorithm. – Who? – They control everything, the feed, what you see, what you don’t see. – What’s it to ya? – Nothing. I deleted my account, I swear. – Arf! (whimpering) – Goodbye, Siobhan. – Hmm, this a nice place you got here. Oh, yeah, real nice place. – Thanks? – Hey, do me a quick favor. Take a look at this article. – Strawberries are bad for you, but not for the reasons you think? – Yeah, what do you think of that? – It’s okay? – Okay? Are you sure you don’t like it? Be a real shame if you didn’t like it. – I like it. I like it, it’s good, I like it! – Oh, you hear that? She likes it! – She’s a fan. – [Man In White Hat]
She likes the article. Well, if you like it so much, here’s a hundred more. – Oh, my God! That is so many articles. – You’re welcome. – I don’t… Look, I just went on Facebook to see how my best friend
from England is doing. – Oh, your friend from England. – [Man In White Hat] Friend from England. – Oh, is this your friend
from England right here? – Yeah. – Wow, very pretty girl. You don’t see her anymore! (laughter) – [ Man In White Hat]
Hey, ask her what else she wants to see, yeah? – I’m going to, you idiot. Excuse me, mademoiselle. You have anything else
you would like to view? – Um, my friend Rachel just had a baby. – Oh, her friend Rachel. – Her friend Rachel, wow. She had a baby, okay. You wanna see a picture of her baby? – Yes? – Okay, how bout a picture of your high school bully’s baby? (laughing) – I’m not even friends with her! – Yes you are! – Oh, you friended her way back when and just forgot about it, and we brought it up again for no reason. – God, she looks just like her. That’s so many bad memories. – Hey, let me do it. I’m your friend, see. I’ll show you whatever you wanna see, see? What d’ya wanna see? – My friend Avery just got a puppy. Maybe a video of the puppy? – Okay. – Okay? – Okay. – Okay, okay. – But first, you gotta look at 50 articles your friend’s mother shared
about mercury in vaccines. – No! (laughing) No, why, why are you doing this to me? – Cause we’re protecting you! – [Man In Gold Hat] Yeah,
we’re protecting you. – I just wanna go back to
the old linear timeline. – [Man In White Hat]
Hey, we all have wants. And if you want people to be able to see your little YouTubes, you best throw us some dough, okay? – Oh, no. All right, we’ll be back next week. We’ll see ya then. Toodles. (gasp) (door closing) – Well, I guess I still have Instagram. (shouting) – You didn’t think it’d be that easy, huh? – Hi, I’m Siobhan from College Humor. Click over here to subscribe, and click here for more fun stuff, ya filthy animals. I was abandoned in this office when I was ten years old by my parents. I’ve only eaten pizza
for such a long time. I think I have scurvy.

100 thoughts on “Facebook’s Algorithm is Like the Mafia

  1. I don't understand why people delete their Facebooks. It's a good way for friends to contact you if they need to. No ones forcing you to use it. Just dont use it!

  2. So glad i dont have facebook, snapchat, instagram, twitter, and whatever else facebook bought and high schooler thots are using.

  3. Algorithms seem to do only two things:
    – propose the same content ad nauseam ("oh you viewed a wallet? how you view these wallets for the next 20 years").
    – propose extreme right content ("oh, you watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? how about you watch some antisemitic/Islamophobic/racist/sexist content?")

    Although… anti-science stuff pops up a lot too…

  4. that shit is true ive found adds on facebook about things i was talking about like my trade or thinking about be a truck driver than there a bunch of ads of t shirts about those specific things and i was talking face to face

  5. Facebook works for the CIA and the Chinese, they are trolling for information, and then attacking their own customers: Facebook is misnamed, it should be named Sadist Social (the SS) that uses your information and opinions to ban you, troll you, and target you.

  6. The targeted advertising thing is confusing, I would order a special circular saw blade on Amazon, and then get advertisements for what I already purchased. What I don't like is the social engineering, that is they are attacking you for your values based upon the SS and Hitler's favorites, not your choices in the American Way of Life that then names you mean when you have values and a moral code, because someone else didn't choose you in hypocrisy. I graduated military college of the U.S. Air Force, I remember when I started, five days a week started with a parade as we marched toward our classes, first thing in the morning, complete with a parade salute to the American Flag. This is very unpopular with Berkley who demands safe spaces and rooms full of stuffed animals in the demand for constant praise; where, by contrast, I suffered daily and weekly inspections, had to strip the wax floors of the barracks with razor blades between classes, so the new wax will shine with a mirror-like reflection, so that the inspection goes well —— this is how you get weekend passes. Work, work, work, this is the stuff of college: After all the military arms don't man themselves, they make you go back to the firing range, if your shooting score is too low, until it is satisfactory. What I'm saying is that we have this feel good culture and environment that entered college; but it is not real, where it has become a television fantasy and people are attempting to use the channel changer on each other to what personally pleases them in anti-social behavior; where to please themselves, only, is the rule; where the real world has struggle, suffering, war, death, conquest and conquerors, corruption, sickness, and disease, and we must face these or suffer death by ignorance. You will never get peace without a code of conduct, because people choose everything, but with a code, then you have a chance for your peace.

  7. Ikr, on twitter people just find you when they have the same interests.

    No one has found us on facebook, no one.

  8. Just one more thing to add. I got tons of weight lost supplements ad, whitening products and plastic surgery ad just because I clicked like on one pretty girl photo.

  9. Unfollow everyone I want to unfollow hide all articles I dislike AND all ads I dislike. Eventually the algorithm gets it… 90% accurate… Then again there s not much left on Facebook for me other than the Economist and local events…

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