Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
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Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids


It’s back to school season,
and for a lot of you out there, that means kids going back to college.
– Right. The networking
website, Facebook, is a great tool to help you keep in
constant contact with your grown kids. And here to show us how it all works is
Today Now’s own E-Mom, Gloria Bianco. Nice to see you.
– Gloria, good to see you again. Hi Jim, hey Tracy.
– Now you’ve all heard the term Facebook, but we may not know that you can use it to
keeps tabs on your children’s personal lives, even when they’re
far away from home. You can you’re gonna
love this, it’s so easy. All you do is
create a profile, and search for your son
or daughter’s name and add them to your list of friends.
– Oh OK. Within minutes you can
be writing on their wall, I write to my son Jeffrey
about five or six times per day. He must love being able to stay
in touch with his mom like that. Yeah.
– It’s a great way to remind him to take his psoriasis medication, or just to tell
him how much I love my little Jeffrey. That is really great. – The thing I
love about Facebook is all the photos. Yes.
– That’s my favorite part too. I look through all of my son
Jeffrey’s photos every single day. Do you really?
– Now look, I can see here that he’s with this young woman with a low
cut shirt showing a lot of skin, It looks like they’re
having a lot of fun. Girls like that like
to have fun. Now see here with the Facebook
feature called “tagging,” I can find out she is Jenny Longman
just by scrolling over her. That is neat!
– Wow. Now Facebook won’t let
me see her entire profile, but I can get a good
enough idea of what she’s like just by looking at this trampy picture.
– I’d say so. The other great
thing about tagging is that you can see pictures
of your kids posted by any of their other friends.
– Really. Now see here, here’s a picture of my,
– Oh sure. son at an event entitled “Jenny’s
Blazing Rager Dusk Till Dawn.” Here’s that young woman
Jenny Longman again. Oh, look at that. – Now, here’s
my favorite site of all, Twitter. It allows you to virtually follow your
son or daughter’s every move, you can hear their every thought
it’s like a dream come true. Hey that is great.
– Oh wow. Here’s my page, you just pick
a name that’s very common, and after you add the year
your son or daughter was born, and they’ll think it’s someone that
they graduated with. – Very clever. You can send them
messages all day long, they won’t even
complain about it. Just make sure that you
spell everything wrong and swear a lot.
– Right. And sometimes your child
will even respond to you. That’s great!
– It is great, because if you’re
thinking of driving up to your son or daughter’s college some night
just to watch them through the window, you’ll know if they’re around or not.
– Right, could take you a lot of time. Or if your son says he’s going
to go off snowboarding for the weekend
with someone named Jenny, you can send her a message
warning her to keep her slut hands off your son unless she wants to
find herself in some pretty big trouble. OK, so now the only excuse for not
knowing every detail of your child’s life, is having a life
of your own. Gloria, thank you so much
for being with us again. OK.
– And now get your glasses ready, because we’re going to
interview a war widow in 3D. Get those glasses out.

100 thoughts on “Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

  1. I follow Amanda Bynes on Twttier(r),
    ergo=I know Amanda Bynes..:)(yes, it is sick, and thankfuylly for celebs so not truje)O

  2. I am so glad my parents think that facebook is too stupid to bother making an account. I avoid adding strangers as friends just in case

  3. It's really sad how this is supposed to be a joke yet my mom is actually like this. No exaggeration.

  4. well thanks for the warning to everyone who has a facebook that maybe they should study their friend request before accepting them and to never accept parents. but my mom isn't like her at all. she said soo much about the girl but wasn't that your sun with his mouth open below her titty! and wasn't he the one starring at her boobs. OH i guess it was all her fault. you should have taught your son some damn self control… and the fact that you show us and admitted you threatened her. STUPID ASS!

  5. So damn right. This is absolutley stunning writing and comic.acting. SNL hasn't done anything near this good or this relevant in years. Decades probably.

  6. The mom is just concerned with her son being so far away and on his own for the first time.  She is trying to be a good influence by befriending him as "CoreyS1990".  It's clever really because this way she can help him without him feeling embarrassed that it's his mom.

  7. I deleted my Facebook a few years ago. them gays kept sending me friend requests I can let the ladies from my church see gays on my Facebook page. we need to pray for this country

  8. "When he says he's gonna go off snowboarding with someone named Jenny, you can send her a message warning her to keep her slut hands off your son unless she wants to find herself in some pretty big trouble".

  9. "So now the only excuse for not knowing every detail of your child's life is having a life of your own".

  10. My daughters are 6 & 2 and this gives me a lot of time to strategize on how I will keep tabs on them. I can post threatening messages on the wall of the guys in their photos and tell them that they need to stay away from them. I'll put a fake profile of a muscular guy with a black belt in martial arts.

  11. "Now the only excuse for not knowing every detail of your child's life is having a life of your own." I see what you did there, Jim!

  12. All of this is real
    All of this exists
    This is not a joke taken to it's highest possible conclusion
    This is just something that happens

  13. Visit the onion.com for tracking devices to implant in your child's skin. Nah I'm good, the vet already does that with a tag

  14. Cant wait fer weekensd!!!! 2 visit my mom.

    Every parent need to remember to do this once in a while 😀 Brilliant.

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