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*Browsing Facebook* *Likes Photo* No, no, no, no unlike unlike unlike unlike! Did you just like my Facebook photo from THREE years ago?! Were you just in my closet? YEAH i was stalking you IN PERSON, like a normal human being. Not on Facebook like a goddamn psycho what’s wrong with you?! Also can i get some new strands of your hair!? These one’s lost their scent! EVERY FACEBOOK EVER (people talking) She still believes in the tooth fairy (laughing) Anyway, Haley and I have some really exciting news (ooohhhh) WE’RE PREGNANT!! (silence). I see What’s wrong? Well, it’s just we have to mute you on facebook. Wait why? You’re gonna be posting about it every day like excessively We literally won’t be able to hear about anything else. – It’s just gonna be too damn annoying You’ll basically become a cancer on our timeline slowly replacing all the fun posts we see with boring ones You understand I can’t believe our own friends would do this to us. – I’m sorry, do you guys hear something? – No.- Ok that’s what I thought Look at this picture of a not baby My dog has a Facebook page She said she wants to see other people. – Oh, man. I’m so sorry. – I know I mean, that’s so tough. But you’re a great person. I know you’ll find some way. – Hey you guys guess what I did today I deleted my facebook Cool man Yep, I just deleted it completely, you know, I just wanted to be free, you know Hey guys pay attention to me I deleted my Facebook. Guys I deleted my Facebook! Jesus f**k Frank Jeff is going through a breakup Well how am I supposed to know? I deleted my Facebook! Had to change my relationship status to single again And that concludes today’s Facebook addiction meeting. Remember, you’re not alone in your struggle and we’re here for you Karl, when’s our next meeting? Oh, I’ll let you know on Facebook. Just check the group page Dude did you just poke me? Okay people, Stacy Zolan from Stockton, California just logged in. Now, let’s get that contact going! Let’s get that news face Rolling! – Incoming puppy compilation! – Okay, great counter-attack with a political post! She’s arguing in the comments about what socialism is! Great, let’s not lose that engagement, people! Hit her with that news segment about the blind cat! Great! Steady Steady! Sound of the world star alarm! (Alarm sounds) We’ve maintain stability! She’s gone into a fight video blackhole! – Great job! She’ll be stuck in that hole for hours! This is what our f**king fore fathers died for (excitement, woo) YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH I got like 30 post on my wall cuz my frickin birthday …Was not where I thought she’s supposed to be, you know what I mean? Guys. I have been talking to this super hot girl on Facebook for the past couple months We haven’t met in person because she’s super busy, but I’m falling for her, check her out Uh-huh – Dude, she’s so hot, right? – Yeah. The only thing is, um, that’s Scarlett Johansson Yeah, dude, you’re being catfished What oh Come on. Alright, I’ll un-friend her Damn (Knock Knock) Excuse me, Scarlett Johansson You’re needed on the set of the New Avengers movie. -Not right now, Gina. My online boyfriend just broke up with me He was the one – Don’t don’t cry – He was the one… I know. Here just, come here (Sobs) We’re gonna need some time This video only has 10 million views, that’s kind of low Probably not – Guys smile for a picture. – Okay Oh wait – Okay. I know I look stupid in that. – Yeah me too. – Oh my god. I look so good. I miss Myspace uhh Oh, see that’s what’s wrong with Millennials! They all living at their parents’ house but don’t want to work *sigh* You know you really shouldn’t generalize an entire generation Dear facebook stranger, you right. I apologize Sorry if I came off as harsh. Have a good one man Dear Stranger on Facebook ,You too. Sincerely, Mr. Washington Wait, did we just resolve an argument on Facebook!? Yeah!!!! There is hope for this world! Ahahahaa Yeah! There is hope for this world! Hahaha Every Facebook ever I’m sorry, what? (laughing) Here, check it out F**k you… That’s actually really funny – He’s a p.. he has a photo of david schwimmer on his phone – Also, you really should upgrade from the five hundred linen count that you have. You haven’t been to Bed Bath and Beyond in like two months Who needs to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond more than every two months That’s what makes me crazy (laughing) Those aren’t mine. How did I get golden retriever hairs? Alright, I fuckin swallowed a piece of confetti (moo) It went, like, into my lungs Wow, thank you guys so much for watching click the box the left to watch every Instagram celebrity ever and click the box of the Right to watch every youtuber ever

100 thoughts on “EVERY FACEBOOK EVER

  1. 4:39 Did anyone catch that his profile name is Matthew Duran which is the name of the Assistant Editor?

  2. You shouldn’t have broken up with her you should’ve told her to send a picture of her touching her left ear with her pinky

  3. 0:31 is I the only one who noticed the guy with the mustache had to forks and was eating from 2 plates?! 🤣🤣

    Hehehehehehehe im the crazy stalker that lives in Courtney’s wardrobe

  5. I would Like to say, an argument ended up resolved on facebook, and we both apologized (almost the same Way) it’s possible as long as you Are civil

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