Dice Media | Not Fit (Web Series) | S01E03 – ‘The Agony Aunt’
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Dice Media | Not Fit (Web Series) | S01E03 – ‘The Agony Aunt’

I discovered this awesome dating app
called ‘Woo’. Actually, I had gone for an audition
for a Woo ad. I did not clear the audition
but I really like the app. So, I told them that there is a documentary
being made on my life and methods called ‘Not Fit’. And it will be nice if Nero likes Woo.
It will be beneficial for you guys. So, they said Nero please, please
do not take the trouble of promoting this app. So nice of them. They are benefiting from this
but still they don’t want me to be hassled. But because it’s for a friend. So, it’s
not a big deal. After all, Woo are friends for? Now if you excuse me I have to go
and give another audition for chips. Who knows, it might be their
lucky day and I might like the chips Fit.
Not fit. Not fit. Fit. Not fit. I don’t know, the ad is for some
new tomato chips or something. Will know once I go inside. You may have noticed
I’m not in such a good mood. It’s been a terrible week. I had one ad, even that
got stolen by Neerav 2. I am sure they must’ve selected me but due to the confusion of the queue-sheet,
they called him by mistake. And later when they found out, they
obviously wouldn’t want to admit their mistake. These ad people are really stupid,
I am telling you. Even all the bad auditions
I sent last week… Not a single one of them
listened to my tips. And yet, those were the ones
the agency liked the best. Now how can one not get frustrated? Zomato chips!
Nonsense. So the first week was quite good. I guess, Mumbai is not as scary
as people make it out to be. I got an ad, became friends with
Akash. He’s a big casting director. Some of his friends are making a film.
So they wanted to meet me. Last time I couldn’t go because Nero suddenly got the chicken pox,
so he stopped me. Then he got better.
So… I am here then. Hi. Robin. Umm… Sorry.
I wanted to meet Akash. I am Robin. Akash had called
to meet… for the party. Guys, just turn the volume down no! Yeah. It’s good music.
– Sorry. Listen… Hello? Ummm… Akash? He’s in the bathroom. Ok. So can I come in? Hello!!? Hello, I am Robin. Akash had called me
for the party, right? Sorry. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! I’m Robin. I have to meet Robin.
Robin! I am Akash’s friend… umm, Robin… Why are you shouting?
– Who is it, man? Hey, Robin!
Come, come. Come in. Hi.
– Hi. What happened?
Why do you look so flustered? Uh…
– Come, come… You wanted to meet Akash?! So why were you yelling
Robin! Robin? That’s Minnie. She’s our costume
designer. She likes all these practical jokes. You’ll get used to it.
– Ok. Come, come. Sports shoes?
– I thought they’ll look nice. Beer in afternoon works, right? Not fit. Not fit. Not fit. What yaar, Brahma.
Not fit, once again! Now we’ll try again
after a full hour. Yeah!
What else can we do anyway? Nero, sir! Sir, am I fit today? Ask inside. Today, I’m also
here to give an audition. Sir, you also need to audition? Yeah, I mean.. it’s just a formality.
They’re all my friends. But I’m sure you don’t need to wait
like other normal people, do you? No, I wait a little… Otherwise people will think,
they’re biased towards me. Yeah.
– Doesn’t look good. Will I be fit now? Yeah, looks fine now. Shit! Shit! Shit! Guys!! Fire! Guys, fire!
– Get out! Oh, shit! Shivam run! Shivam run!
– Forget the crutch! Help! Help!
– Open the door! Hey, break the door! Break the door!
Make way. Make way. – Help! Help!
Side, side, side! What the hell is happening here? There is no fire. But there was an alarm. I don’t have a fire alarm
in my house! Someone banged on the door
and said we need to evacuate. I couldn’t even finish my pee.
– Yeah? And why would anyone do that,
Minnie? Listen this is… really tiring, man.
I’m just sick and tired of these jokes. Just stop doing this.
It’s not funny anymore. What!? And the door opens inwards. I told you… Yeah. No point. The entire system is corrupt. Been “not fit” three times since
the morning… for the same audition. It costs money to travel to and fro.
But why would they care? At least they can give us
conveyance money. Can’t they? Of course, they can… But there is nobody to listen to us.
– That’s true. Every profession in the world
has an association, but we don’t have any association. But there is an Actors’ Association. Arre, they ask for proof of
work experience. When we have no work,
where will proof come from? That’s true. But those who have work,
they have no problems. I wish we also had one of those… what do you call that in English?
That… Agni Aunty! Agony Aunty!
– Yeah, same thing, “Mausi” (Aunt). Who can understand our agonies and provide solutions for
our problems. Absolutely. Someone should be there.
– Brother. Don’t you have problems
with this corrupt system? No, I’ve no shortage of work,
nothing like that… Why would you have? You are good looking. Handsome. We’re the ones with real problems. There should be someone… Someone who can tell us… how to get fit in every audition. There should be an organization,
an institution. And only the members of the
organization should be reimbursed. Conveyance?
– Yes, conveyance. Otherwise any Tom, Dick and Harry
will come and claim conveyance. If the conveyance is paid
what else do we need? Yeah, yeah. For you even conveyance is
more than enough. Come, Robin.
I was waiting for you. Sit Uh… I have some good news. Tell me later. How do you feel when you leave home after
getting dressed, having put on make-up…
– I don’t use make-up. Investing 3, sometimes even 4 hours, you go for an audition and some random casting director
tells you you’re “not fit”. I mean, who has given him
the authority? I am sure that’s his only job. Don’t you wish that there was an organization
to solve your issues, in English what they call,
Ebony Aunt. That’s why, today marks the birth
of a new organization… Models and Actors
who are Unemployed, their Society of Individuals… MAUSI! You came up with this name?
– Any doubt? Not at all. As acting President, I would like you, Robin, to be the first ever member of MAUSI.
You’re welcome very much. I’ve got the main role in that film… Rakht Bimb. (Reflections of Blood) But you’re… But… You’ll be ineligible for MAUSI.
Only unemployed people are eligible. I know. That’s a sacrifice which
I would have to make. Are you sure? You want to let go of such a big
opportunity for an arty-farty film. First ever member of MAUSI. It’s a part of history.
Just remember that. It’s not that I’m not happy
for Robin. I always want the best for him. That’s why I feel sad when I see him
making a very bad career decision. He is going to get frisked. I have also been offered
many such arty-farty films. Dozens. For one film I had an offer of
6 lakhs. Six lakhs! That too on an investment
of only 3 lakh. Straight 3 lakhs profit. Still, I didn’t do it. Because… I don’t know where they disappeared
after I gave them the money. But, if I had done it, there
would’ve been no MAUSI today. I really thank my stars.
I really do. So the week keeps on getting
better and better. But today I felt, I almost dug
my own grave in search of revenge. Thank God Akash didn’t find out
but… I get a message from Minnie. “I always knew that it was you
who always sounded the false alarm. Be careful.
Be very very careful.” Now I don’t know whether to
thank her for taking the fall, or be careful. Very very careful. You have it, don’t you? MAUSI!! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI! MAUSI… Okay. Greetings. Today, you have all become
a part of history. Welcome to MAUSI. I am your President, Nero. Now… Okay. Brahma is our admin in-charge. Hey, it’s ok. And Gyani… is also here. Let me tell you a little bit
about Brahma. Brahma has been admin in-charge of
many other associations in the past and it’s our honour that
he’ll also work with us. Hey! You don’t have to clap every time.
I’ll tell you when to clap. His first association was
very very successful. But there were some fights
regarding the name. That…
What was the problem? Actually, the name was in Hindi
but the members turned out to be English. Yes. Association for Actors’ Sisters.
AAS. That’s why the name should be
chosen after a lot of thought. MAUSI best.
– Yes. Ok. Don’t clap. The second association, at one time, held the record
for the maximum number of members in any association for actors. Yes, but only five were left
towards the end. Why? That… creative differences,
with regard to the name. Association for Actors Named
Amit and Sunil. ANAS. At least the name should’ve been
carefully thought out. MAUSI ultimate.
– Yes, yes. Ok. Ok. Anyway… So who amongst you would
like to create history and become the first member? Yeah. What’s your name? Amit Bhandari. No, man. Sorry. The first name should be
a little outstanding. We just witnessed what difficulties we may face in the
future with regard to the name. Yeah? Yes? Sunil Tripathi. No, man. No. Yes? Amit Ghole. Sunil Nanda. Sunil Kumar. Hey, they are all members of ANAS!! You only asked me to invite
people I know. So I did. Is there anyone else here
other than ANAS? Raunakk! R-A-U-N-A-K-K.
Double ‘K’ at the end. I always knew, one day I would
definitely shine in politics. I have all the qualities. Leadership, stamina, charisma. Acting and politics are very close. And playing politics in acting itself
is a genius idea. I really thought this was the
beginning of my political career. Maybe someday I’d become the director
of a premier film school… But it’s not that easy. Especially when your
only followers are ANAS rejects. Hi, this is Minnie. You’ll be seeing a lot more of me
in the next episode where I’ll be blackmailing Robin. And that’s going to be
amazing fun. You know the things that he does just to keep up his
sophisticated image. Anyway.
So um… Please share this video,
because sharing is so much fun. I once shared an orange. And that was just great fun! And subscribe to this. Because… that is also
lots of fun! So… yeah!

49 thoughts on “Dice Media | Not Fit (Web Series) | S01E03 – ‘The Agony Aunt’

  1. too funny too funny…. I wished they'd air u on tv, rather than those fckall TV soaps my mom watches !

  2. Most creative piece 😀 if all of us were as optimistic as Nero is, we would all be living our dreams

  3. today only I start to watch this series, u guys are really good.. thanks for creating this.. Nero I like your character, .. love the idea..

  4. Looking at the commnts i though to watch it but srsly cant see anything worse than this !!
    Litrally watched 3 whole episode thinking it would get better but disappointed

  5. One shout out for Ashish as well, Dhruv or Sudev ko to sab hi appreciate karte hai (and rightly so)..and I've fallen in love with Sarah Hashmi's work since Alisha
    great work team

  6. Nero ur voice is really good and so are ur acting skills..wish u success man…and dice Media great series..so unique and enlightening..keep up good work👍

  7. Nero is such innocent. Takes even the sarcasms as positive compliments. And that occasional laugh though. Makes me wow him

  8. I just came here for sudev nair ..I am a keralite..and this person has tried his luck in some Malayalam movies.Through his first movie he has secured Kerala state film awards.He graduated from Pune film institute.I think talents like him with good knowledge and reading should be recognized..luckly he is known all over India as nero.

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