Starting next week– -hold yourself– this–
-I will. Instagram will begin
hiding likes in the U.S. This came here from Australia. It’s citing
mental health benefits. Like counts
won’t go away altogether. Users will be able
to see theirs. But this is like World War Z,
you know, where it’s coming your way
and you know it. It started in Australia. I didn’t think
it would make it here this fast. And now… I’m terrified. -What do you think?
-I think it’s good. -Okay. -I think it’s good.
It’ll level– ‘Cause these people
are famous for nothing. -They’re famous for showing
their asshole. -Yeah. -Know what I’m talking about?
If you… -Are you– -are you talking about you?
-Yeah, I am. If they… What are you talking about? If they show– We only–
If you’re not getting likes and you’re showing your butt,
you’re just a hooker. -Oh, yeah. -You’re-you’re not–
you’re not– This is no–
There’s no talent involved. But don’t you want to see
how many other people also like that hooker? Like, when I like it, I’m like, “So did a bunch
of other idiots.” I feel good.
I feel fine about it. I can’t tell who’s pretty
unless there’s a lot of likes. Yeah. You know. -I go, “Oh, you’re pretty.
Oh, my God. -Yeah. -Sexy.”
-That’s a good point. -Do you get a lot of likes,
Erik? -You know what, -the problem with you two…
-(laughing) -My thing is…
-Where’s my support in here?! (cheering and applause) I’ll tell you, it’s those legs. I feel like Instagram– It’s been around a while.
I’ve had a good run. Don’t give ’em–
people a reason to bail. Because once you change it
a little bit and people start dropping off,
they go, “Where’s TikTok?”
You know what I mean? You go–
just go to the next thing. You’re lucky even treading water
this long. I would not mess
with the situation. But they think they’re doing
a good thing for mental health, -you know? So… Hey, I’m just
saying. -Well– Well, I know. -But… -How does it help
with mental health when now you’re gonna be there
looking at your things, being like… (cries)
“Nobody likes me”? -You know what… -Because
you can’t– because you can’t compare yourself
to other people, -you dummy!
-Yeah. -But, honestly, if they would…
-Ow. -(laughing) -I know.
You’re really getting shit on. But if they would get rid
of the filters, -I think that would be better
for h… -You just punched me. -Yeah. -Yeah, the filters got
to go. -Children? If they– -Giving a speech. -He’s right,
he’s right, he’s right. -Daddy is talking.
-But, like, filters that show -you’re better-looking,
just get rid of that. -Yeah. -Anyway… -If you can’t make
yourself good-looking -on Instagram, you’re
really ugly. -Yeah, that’s true. You ever meet people and you go, -“Are you the person
that was on Instagram? -Yeah. Is she with you?” Um, Kanye West– changing gears– is considering
legally changing his name to Christian Genius Billionaire
Kanye West. -Perfect.
-Of course, I couldn’t believe– I can’t believe
that name wasn’t already taken. Uh, uh,
what do you think there, bud? Uh, well, first of all,
this outfit is– I love it. He’s-he’s– Th–
He’s gonna go BASE jumping right after in that coat. It’s a squirrel suit.
I’m gonna rename myself, uh, Catholic Community College Thousandaire Andrew Santino.
That’s gonna be my… -Thousandaire?
-Thousandaire. Yeah. -Thousandaire.
-(applause) -Thank you. Honestly, though,
are you a thousandaire? -Be honest. Chris.
-Chris. -Hundredaire? -Not here.
-Chris! I do need a ride home.
I’m being dead serious. He works for Uber,
so you can do it. -Hey, hey, hey!
-(applause) -And Lyft. And Lyft.
-(laughing) And Lyft. -And I got to deliver
some Grubhub. -(laughs) -You knocked ’em all out!
-Why am I shitting on myself?!