Bad Instagram: Conspiracy Theories
Articles Blog

Bad Instagram: Conspiracy Theories


[Music] What’s up, Greg! It’s me, Danny, back with another episode of “Trust No One.” ‘Cause the government’s out to get ya, NASA’s out to get ya, – the NSA is out to get you, and your sorry ass better believe that I’m out to get ya. Conspiracy theories seem to be like all the rage nowadays. I’ve seen so many YouTubers talking about conspiracy theories. I feel like because the Internet has brought so many different groups of people closer together – – it’s very easy to find people who are – – also insane and believe in the same conspiracy theories as you do – – and that allows these theories to grow and thrive on the Internet. (guinea pig screaming) I don’t know if you could hear that but my guinea pigs just started screaming. I think I’m being watched. I’m sure by now a lot of you have heard about the Flat-Earther conspiracy. Recently, I’ve seen Flat-Earthers on the news and on talk shows where they – – stumble their way through their logic as to why they think the earth is flat – – and not round like EVERYBODY else on earth does. (stammering) “9.8 meters this– 9.8 meters per squared–meters per second squared” They even have conventions where they get together, I assume to talk about their ideas – and – how they don’t have any friends anymore and just to take pictures and yell, “We’re not crazy!” Oh… that’s, that’s very cringey. Not good, not good. There’s some serious levels of cringe going on with a lot of these conspiracy theories. And while I was looking for those educational memes that I made a video on last week, I stumbled upon these Instagram accounts that make conspiracy theory memes. I use the term meme loosely, because they’re not meant to be funny. They’re meant to… enlighten you? Some of them might be conspiracy theories you’ve heard but others just might shock you. Conspiracy theorists claim this strange object was found in a thirteenth century ancient Sumerian tablet. It closely resembles a Nokia made in the year 2000. However, its keys are written in cuneiform. Is this proof of time travel? Now guys, I wish I had an explanation for this. For why this stone phone looking thing exists But I really don’t, and there’s really no explanation for it other than time travelers exist. At some point in the future we’re going to invent time travel Scientists and secret agents and military operatives will go back in time to the 13th century BC with all the high-tech gadgets that they have in the future. We’re gonna have top-of-the-line equipment, high-tech gadgets, and a Nokia phone that they stopped making in like 2002 or something. I don’t really know how to explain this other than somebody probably just made this and it’s a hoax, but why would in the future when we have the ability to time-travel, why would somebody take back a Nokia phone from like 10-15 years ago? They just went back in time to like play snake, I guess. And now researchers have also found this mysterious carving on a stone tablet I don’t want to believe it either, but I mean it’s on a stone tablet So it’s gotta be real and it’s gotta be a conspiracy. This was Iraq. This is Iraq – on freedom. Any questions? I don’t know about you, but I don’t have any questions, except… What? This ancient Greek sculpture was made in about 100 BC and a girl is seen holding what appears to be a modern-day laptop. Some paranormal investigators are convinced that this statue is proof of time travel. What do you think? That’s a thick ass laptop first of all. This woman looks like royalty and she looks like she’s got like a 2004 IBM laptop. *Windows startup noise* Like, if you’re a time-traveling queen, don’t you think you’d at least be able to afford like the new MacBook? It says some paranormal investigators are convinced that this statue is proof of time travel. I’d really like to see what a paranormal investigator does aside from just look at the picture and think… *Intense music plays* “Yep, that’s a laptop. Yeah, that’s definitely a laptop.” What’s–what other investigating did you do? That’s clearly a laptop; couldn’t be anything else, not a jewelry box not some other kind of opening chest that they had back then, it’s definitely a laptop you can tell because That’s how you hold laptops. This is how you hold a laptop. I really do like the idea though that this woman traveled back in time with a laptop and then hired some poor peasant girl to hold the laptop for her while she used it. A baby born in 1783 had two heads, one on top of the other with the second head upside down so that the neck stub was up in the air. The second head had a fully functional brain and whispered random stuff to the other brain. It’s not really a conspiracy theory, it’s just on one of these conspiracy accounts. I just wonder what the other brain whispered. “Hey little buddy It’s just me your other head. Just wanna say hi, how ya doin.” Alright, this next one’s even crazier. A man named Noah who claims to be a time traveler from the year 2030 passed a lie-detector test. Is he really from the future? So he says he’s from the future from the year 2030 and he passed a lie-detector test? *scoffs* No one’s ever falsely passed a lie-detector test before so I mean, there’s no other explanation. He’s got–it’s gotta be true. Is he a time traveler or is he just insane? There’s only one way to find out for sure as far as I’m concerned What kind of phone does he have? Is it a Nokia? Is it a Nokia 3310? This picture was taken in the 1940s What? Sunglasses?! A fucking cardigan in the forties?! Noooooo! This can’t be happening, this is too much. A cardigan? This dude looks like Ryan Reynolds or some shit in the 40s. Just in case you’re not convinced that time travel is real, these images are from a video taken in 1938 of female factory workers leaving work. One woman appears to be holding a modern-day… smartphone. Is she a real time traveler? That’s right folks this modern-day thicc-ass smartphone. She’s definitely not just brushing her hair or just holding like a purse like that woman is. It’s definitely a modern-day thicc-ass smartphone. Okay, I don’t understand if this was really a smartphone, would all of these like other female workers just be cool with it? Like it’s 1938 and you’re leaving work and you just see one woman talking on this high-tech thing like talking into it Yeah, so, yep. I have successfully infiltrated the factory. I it’s 1938 and they have no idea Why is nobody looking at her like she’s insane? Because they don’t have cellphones yet So she would just look like a crazy person Why is nobody looking at her or being like hey, what the fuck is that thing that you have? also Do these people know how cellphones work? ‘Cause you need a cell phone tower to use a cell phone and to my knowledge they didn’t Have those in 1938. So who is she talking to? Also No one else has a cell phone in that period so really who is she talking to? Smarter children tend to become heavier drinkers as adults Is this some kind of government conspiracy or is this just sad? This next one is just silly. There are a number of photos online that appear to show celebrities in photographs before they were born. Take this picture of Michael Cera in 1930s Germany for example. are these simply doppelgangers or are these proof of time travelers? I might believe this if I personally didn’t have dozens of doppelgangers sent to me every week. Seriously I don’t know why but there are so many people in the world that look like me living right now. Most of them are Women which is kind of concerning but it does not at all concern me that There’s someone who kind of looks like Michael Cera who was alive in the 1930s Also, this doesn’t even look like Michael Cera. The face is too round. I’m pretty sure that’s a girl It’s just that’s not that doesn’t look like Michael Cera. This photo alone debunks the globe. No it doesn’t… This modern-day Swiss watch was found in a 400 year old sealed Ming Dynasty tomb. The find baffled Archaeologists. Is this proof of time-travel? I like how they asked that after every single one. Is this proof of time-travel? Like they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel. Just trying to come up with anything. Okay. How about this one? Is this proof of time-travel? How about this? It’s a watch! Oh Oh damn time travelers are showing up to the 1600s iced the fuck out with a Rolex on their wrists Goddamn, ow! There’s only one explanation for this time travel exists. There’s time travelers from the future They have very small wrists, but they are absolutely iced out. I’m talking chains, Roli on the wrist Probably grills the whole nine yards and it totally isn’t just a ring a lot of these are Time-travel centric, admittedly. Like this one a woman claiming to be a time traveler showed us this picture which she claims was taken on Mars In the year 3812 and it shows what appeared to be a city on the Red Planet. I’m sorry, But this is irrefutable evidence. This woman wearing modern-day clothes with a chipped nail is walking around Modern-day earth with a picture of Mars that she printed out She doesn’t have some kind of high-tech device that she’s walking around with – she printed out a picture of Mars That’s like technology that’s already outdated. Nobody prints things anymore She got it laminated even and she’s just walking around Showing people the picture being like I’m from the future! A woman showed us this picture. So this person who has this account it looks like they’re in a park or something was just walking around and this woman came up and was like Oh shit There’s another one. A man claiming to be a time traveler showed us this image in which he claims was taken in the year 5000 and shows Los Angeles underwater *”Year 3000″ by Jonas Brothers plays* Okay, were these two time travelers just walking around in a park together? So this is a picture that is definitely not photoshopped, of Los Angeles underwater. Could this be the evidence we needed to finally convince the world that climate change is real? the future is fucked! It sure is! Government. Check any dictionary and you will find that “govern” means “control” and “ment -” “mental” means mind therefore government means mind control Noooo! Think about it They wouldn’t call it mind control if it wasn’t mind control. Conspiracy theories like these that are like the answer is hidden in plain sight Just confuse me so much cuz it’s like if the government was going to try to control your mind. Why would they name it like hmm, so we don’t want people to know that we’re controlling their minds right? Well, how about the name? Mind control like why would they make it so easy to figure out the puzzle? It’s like those things where you see like the dollar bill and it’s like look if you fold it this way It’s an eye and the pyramid or if you count the number of things on all the stuff than you get 9/11 It’s like why would they make a puzzle to figure it out? Why wouldn’t they just not do that so that you can’t figure it out? It’s a game of Clue where they’re like where we want to control your minds But we also want to make it this fun little game where if you get it right, you win a prize. You figured it out. We’re trying to control your minds. You win a million dollars. Alright guys Well, I hope you enjoyed these conspiracy theories Hopefully I blew your mind and made you question everything that you’ve ever known. If you enjoyed this video, and you’re not Greg Why? Why are you not Greg? Do you not know what Greg is? I will tell you what Greg is now. Greg is our family on YouTube It’s my fan base. Everybody who’s subscribed with my notifications on is Greg. If you’re not Greg, you’re Craig, and fuck Craig. We’re the fastest growing army on the Internet. Do not look that up. We’re actually the only army on the internet with access to time travel capabilities So all you have to do to join Greg is subscribe and turn on my notifications So you make sure you do that. Guys if you want to join my patreon or buy my merch links to those are in the descriptions below. Thank You Grace Motley for turning on my notifications. You are truly Greg. I’ll see you guys next time with a very interesting video where I go around kicking high school janitors in the knees. Bye!

100 thoughts on “Bad Instagram: Conspiracy Theories

  1. Tinfoil hat? Check
    Flat earth? Check
    Sunglasses? Check
    Time travelers? Check
    Corrupt government? Check
    Greg?! Che-ck

  2. Why they took that stuff because they thought it would fit in and work in 2002 but they messed up and went back to far

  3. Government is named government because they govern, they are supposed to semi control, and why is the name combination of govern and ment in America, in my language Romanian it it is only guvern, which is kinda short for guvernare (to administrate)

  4. Me: has been watching danny and today youtube unsubbed me from danny
    Danny: If you're not subscribed, you're Craig, Fuck Craig!
    Me: Youtube wants me to be Craig…

    COME AT ME BITCHES COME FIGHT ME IM CRAIG

  5. there is a conspiracy based on the Bible and facts that in the old days they had better technology than us, i believe that to.

  6. One time a classmate said to the geography teacher that the Earth is flat…her face just went so serious, more serious than usual, and she just shook her head and carried on with what she was teaching.

  7. The "laptop" in the statue is actually a tabula, wich is what the rich used to write on in the anxient roman empire. Its just a block of wood with clay in it. No laptop

  8. conspiracy theory: "Delaware"'s not fucking real! think about it, do you know ANYONE from "Delaware?" zero % sales tax because the only people who live there are government plants directly off the highway to keep people off the gov't slush fund's trail.

  9. I saw a flat Earther on the internet. Guess what they said…"There are flat Earther a all around the world."

    😂😂😂

  10. The people that say they are from like 2050 actually could because in some countries they didn't go back to the year 0 when they thought jesus was born cos they dont belive in him so they carried on with there time but not to complicate things they go by 2019

  11. Imbeciles: The earth is round!
    Even worse imbeciles: The earth is flat
    Me an intellectual: Earth is a square-based pyramid, duh.

  12. I m a recent subscriber and i fucking laugh every single time you start a video because i still cant believe your fans are named fucking Greg

  13. Lie detectors just look at your heart rate, you just have to be really calm to pass, it has nothing to do with truth.

  14. Ok, great. He passed a lie detector on whether he's from 2030 or not. Couldn't possibly be that he's suffering from a mental illness that causes delusions so realistic that he believes it without doubt.

    …Also…the 'smart kids become alcoholics' offends the shite out of me. I have an IQ of 160+, I'm 33 & I don't drink. Like….at all.

  15. ….ment is a suffix that just means 'an action or resulting state'. It has nothing to do with mental…so, 'government' literally just breaks down to mean ''a controlling action/state".

  16. I’m sorry but if I didn’t say this, it would drive me crazy the whole video. It’s pronounced CUH-nay-a-form, and not CYOON-I-form. We studied it in school and our teacher taught us the correct way to say it. Sorry Danny 🤣

  17. You see, fellow memer, the Iraq meme at the beginning is a reference to popular internet may may “this is your brain on crack. Any questions?” Meemeee

    Be thankful, for I have enlightened you

  18. Conspiracy theorist are exactly why people are killing for religion to this day. I dont know why people do it but the second something can't be explained easily it must be aliens or God or fucking time travel. That must be true instead of the more rational ideas that make more sense.

  19. Ive gotten to the point where you are just so funny that as soon as the video started i fucking burst out laughing wtf 😂😂😂😂😂💕💕💕

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back To Top